Lez Keep It Real

This story has lost its steam, what little steam there was, since everything went down at LSU. And the only place I can find any updated information is ESPN. Thankfully, I’m a tomboy and I visit the site on a regular basis because now I can pass on the information to you!

EPSN.com -

BATON ROUGE, La. — LSU has paid former women’s basketball coach Pokey Chatman the $160,000 owed her as a result of a recent contract settlement that followed her abrupt resignation from the school earlier this year, Chatman’s lawyer said Wednesday.

Chatman resigned March 7, shortly before the NCAA Tournament, after assistant coach Carla Berry raised allegations of improper conduct with a former player or players. The team went on to reach the Final Four under assistant Bob Starkey, now the associate head coach under new coach Van Chancellor.

In a settlement announced in mid-June, LSU offered Chatman $85,000 in postseason bonus money, on top of the $75,000 both sides agreed she was due for a total of $160,000.

On Wednesday, Chatman’s lawyer, Mary Olive Pierson, said in a news release that she received on Chatman’s behalf a check for $75,000 from LSU and a check for $85,000 from the Tiger Athletic Foundation.

“Coach Chatman has authorized me to say that she is very pleased that LSU accepted the proposal she made to resolve this matter. She is happy to put this chapter behind her and move on to a successful future. She has discovered in this process that she has a wide array of fans, friends and supporters throughout the United States and she appreciates all of their contacts and warm wishes,” Pierson said.

In April, Piersen said that at the time Chatman left LSU, she had been given two hours to resign or be fired and that she was entitled to damages and compensation for the final two years of her contract.

Though she still has yet to make a public appearance or speak out about this incident herself, at least we know she isn’t just going to hide from these allegations or disappear from the coaching world altogether.

I think now that the money situation is settled, Pokey needs to come forward and talk candidly about what happened. It could only serve her well in future endeavors and, quite honestly, put a lot of speculation to rest.

Past information on Pokey and LSU

We’re still playing, “Where’s Pokey.” You’ve played “Where’s Waldo” before, haven’t you? Well, the same rules apply here. If you happen to stumble upon an article or an announcement of Pokey’s whereabouts, heck, if you happen to actually see her somewhere -contact me! Maybe I’ll even throw in a prize!

pokey chapman, lsu, espn, women’s basketball, settlement, coaching, lesbian coach

This week’s Come Out & Play post spotlights Christine from Canada. Christine told me her story through OurChart, a lesbian social-networking site spun from the L Word.

What makes this particular story intriguing to me is that I just wrote a post about gay Mormons a couple of days ago. I wanted some insight into what gay Mormons go through, I wanted to hear about it personally from someone who wasn’t afraid to talk about it …

Ask and you shall receive.

This is Christine’s story:

Now the awkward conversation… don’t worry - we’ll get through this. It always happens the night after something like that last blog.

The silence…

The abashed glances though eyelashes drawn down…

The writer’s block…

Yesterday I had my first “Religious” Guidance meeting. I think we made some progress as I managed - after some help from my cousin who agreed to come along as support.

We mannaged to get the point across that I was infact gay, that I LIKE women and that I am not in fact confused about my feelings surrounding men due to “bad” experiences. I would not/could not change this fact and that I personally don’t want to continue to suppress these feelings because I don’t want to kill myself.

Excerpt from meeting; “…has your brother ever had similar feelings?”

Huh?

For women - yes, he lives with one. Oh - you mean for men… no. Not that I know of.

I found it particularly funny how “the feelings” I’m having where continually alluded to but never named - so I through around the H word a bit to see if it would get any reactions. I know these guys love me - and I told them straight out and honestly for the first time that I was mad a GOD.

Yes - I said it, completely pissed at him. Everything in the bible denotes that “the feelings” that I’m having are evil, sinful and wrong… how can I feel at peace with myself and cut out that knowledge? I am at complete odds with my faith at this point. People that I know have hurt me deeply because they are hypocritical and hurtful with their words. I know (friends) people - who “love me dearly” that have had such hate pour out of their mouths for people they don’t know. “The Gays” - that’s what we’ll call her, a once close friend that told me I should be boycotting Wal-Mart - because they “…support THE GAYS…” and my first response was - good. Then second - aren’t there BETTER reasons to boycott Wal-Mart??

I told my cousin I didn’t want to be the poster child for lesbian Mormons…

She said; quoting someone else - “Sometimes you need to be more open minded to close minded people…”

I watched Jennifer Beals’ speech from the 2006 Glaad Awards and after sleeping on it, my meeting, my cousins words and how damn angry I am my current sphere of existence.

I decided I’m coming out. If they want me to be honest, strong and work on staying in the church… I’m not going to hide anymore.

I need to know who my real friends are - and who REALLY gives a shit. Before I have cancer or something really horrible happen.

I’d rather people talked to my face than at my back as I pass. I’m gonna make some t-shirts, - I probably won’t say it from a pulpit… and maybe I’m just gonna be a shit disturber - but even Brigham Young - with his 30+ wives was a swearin’ son of a Mormon… and I gotta be who I’m gunna be.

I don’t have a girlfriend, I still practice celibacy and if I suddenly did end up with someone - my plan of action may change to include them and thier feelings.

“She” might put the angry fire out.

But suddenly my thought is - There are other’s like me. And we need to support each other. And we need to love each other and this needs to be out in the open. I can’t be the only person hurting quietly and politely in a corner.

So I will be the local poster gurl. And they can all see me happy - not because I’m a Mormon… But because I’m GAY and I’m not going to hide that anymore.

Gay Mormons Unite! That’s not a bad one for the T-shirt…

Which makes me think of a T-shirt my aunt once made where she spelt Unite wrong and it said Untie instead…

I don’t know how long I will stay a Mormon. I’m never getting married in the Temple, I’m never going to date men, BUT - I’m not going to hold love at a distance anymore.

I just feel like making a flag and yelling a lot - “look at meeee!!! Look at meeee!!!!

So, something will give and I guess time will tell what, where and how.

Editor’s note: this excerpt is directly taken from Christine’s blog, therefore I did not change a word of it or correct typos, etc. I wanted it to be as real and as raw as it came across to me when I first read it.

Tune in every Friday for the Come Out & Play series, featuring coming out stories of celebrities, every day people, personal reflections, advice, tid bits and everything else concerning the complicated world of coming out!

Got an interesting coming out story to tell? Contact me and I will feature it in an upcoming post of Come Out & Play.

come out and play, coming out stories, come out, coming out mormon, gay mormon, mormon, our chart, the l word

This week’s Notable Lesbian is:

Janis Ian
Born April 7, 1951

Janis Ian is a Grammy
Award-winning American songwriter, singer, multi-instrumental musician, columnist, and author. She was a singing sensation throughout the 1960s and 1970s, and continues to write songs for numerous artists. Born in New York City, she was primarily raised in New Jersey and briefly attended the New York City High School of Music & Art. At age fifteen, Ian wrote and sang her first hit single, “Society’s Child (Baby I’ve Been Thinking),” about an interracial romance forbidden by a girl’s mother and frowned upon by her peers and teachers. Her most successful single was “At Seventeen,” released in 1975, a bittersweet commentary on adolescent cruelty and teenage angst, as reflected upon from the maturity of adulthood. Ian currently lives in Nashville, Tennessee, with attorney Patricia Snyder, whom she married in Toronto, Canada on August 27, 2003.

Interesting tid bit:
In addition to being an award-winning singer/songwriter, Ian also writes science fiction. She has also been a regular columnist for, and still contributes to the LGBT news magazine, The Advocate. The hit 2004 movie Mean Girls features a character named “Janis Ian” who was called lesbian by some of her classmates.

I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
and high school girls with clear skinned smiles
who married young and then retired
The valentines I never knew
The Friday night charades of youth
were spent on one more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth

~ Opening lyrics from “At Seventeen”

If you have a suggestion for a Notable Lesbian, e-mail me at lyndsey.darcangelo@451press.net or use the contact form above and I’ll highlight her in an upcoming post.

janis ian, the advocate, science fiction writer, grammy award winning songwriter, american songwriter, at seventeen, society’s child, patricia snyder, notable lesbians

And we all thought coming out Christian was hard … not to lessen the difficulty, but in my opinion there are more open-minded Christians than there are open-minded Mormons.

NPR’s Alex Cohen put together an audio report on how Mormons grapple with their faith and sexuality.

For Ben Jarvis, the tension between Mormon teachings and his sexuality led him to leave the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. But Affirmation, a support group for gay, lesbian and bisexual Mormons, has helped Jarvis and others retain and share traditions, whether or not they are “officially” church members.

Listen to Ben’s story.

The Mormon faith has always puzzled me. It appears to be so much more strict than other religions and then there’s the whole excommunication aspect. Imagine having an entire group of people, with whom you have bonded spiritually and wholeheartedly, turn their backs on you. There are numerous resources for gay Mormons, however, that have been established and set up by others who have struggled with the same religion and sexuality conflicts. You can read other stories and find support almost anywhere on the Internet. There’s no reason to feel alone or to suffer in silence. Others have already tread the path you now walk. Take advantage of their advice and learn from their lessons. That is, if you want to. As with anything, there is always a choice. You can choose to face your sexuality or you can choose to be blind to it.

The choice is yours.

Any Mormon who would like to weigh in on this, feel free …

gay mormon, mormon, gay christian, christian, npr, alex cohen, ben jarvis, church of jesus christ latter day saints, mormon faith

First off, whoever came up with the Outie name was, shall I say, trying to hard? And second, what the heck is an Outie anyway? The only outie I know of is the kind of belly button that sticks out and looks rather awkward. This kind of Outie, though, is the kind that can be taken home and set up for all to view in an enclosed glass case next to the softball player of the year award and the most fabulous queen of the century plaque.

From Gaybiz.com -

San Francisco-based Out & Equal Workplace Advocates, the foremost national nonprofit organization devoted exclusively to promoting workplace equality for LGBT employees, announced today the finalists for the annual Out & Equal Workplace Awards (commonly known as “The Outies”). From the impressive list of finalists, the winners of the 2007 Out & Equal Workplace Awards will be announced at a Gala Awards Dinner on Sept. 28 at the Hilton Washington in Washington D.C., during the annual Out & Equal Workplace Summit.

Each year since 2000, Out & Equal Workplace Advocates has recognized individuals and organizations in five categories for their contributions in advancing work environments where all people are treated equally regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity and expression. Past award winners have included many respected corporate leaders and several of the most admired and successful businesses on the planet.

“This year’s Out & Equal Workplace Award finalists represent the best of the best,” Selisse Berry, executive director of Out & Equal Workplace Advocates, said in a release. “Even though we can only recognize a few of these people and organizations, I really want to personally thank all the finalists for their efforts and their commitment. They are all heroes and worthy of our gratitude.”

See who the 2007 Out & Equal Workplace Award finalists are.

All kidding aside, these awards are actually a pretty cool thing. Tolerance in the work place is a necessity, especially for those individuals still struggling to come out of the closet at their place of employment.

Honoring an employer who has made significant strides in the acceptance and advancment of homosexual employees will only incite other companies to follow suit. Isn’t diversity a wonderful thing?

diversity, coming out on the job, 2007 outies, out and equal workplace award, out and equal workplace advocates, selisse berry

Happy Monday! This time, I don’t have any horrific news to report. Actually, I hardly have any time to write at all. So, I will point you in the direction of an awesome article that sums up the gayest moments in music by Blender magazine.

Here’s a taste of one of the moments mentioned…

I remember when I saw that happen. I think I had to pick my jaw up off the floor afterwards.As for another quick bit of gay humor to share on this fine Monday, check out Adri’s (of Pride and Opinions fame) No Style comic. He sums up what a lot of us mainstream homosexuals feel, but can’t quite put into words. He captures it perfectly with this splendid artistic display of sarcasm.

I’ll return tomorrow with more riveting commentary on news, entertainment, gossip or anything remotely interesting that tickles my fancy.

no style, blender magazine, gayest moments in music, madonna britney kiss

Remember the “fag bug?”

Here’s an update from Erin Davies herself:

So I leave for my cross country trip next Wednesday June 27th. There’s so much to do before I take off and the closer it gets the more real it is all becoming. Although I know I will make it home safely, I still feel that I am risking my life in doing this and have gone into this all with a desire to do something to make change in our society but also want to make it through it. I want to address people who are homophobic on my trip and put my car in situations where people aren’t expecting to be confronted with homophobia in such a direct way. That is the goal, to evoke a dialogue with people who aren’t tolerant. My itinerary is up on my myspace page and if anyone has any ideas of specific places or events to take my car where the general public won’t be expecting it in any of the areas I’m going to please send me an email at erin@fagbug.com. Also, the fagbug t-shirts just launched and went live today through www.fagbug.com so please spread the word and support the fagbug campaign.

Erin Davies will be checking in weekly to let us us know where the “fag bug” is going on its cross-country journey, and what she’s been up to along the way. Keep a look out to see where the “fag bug” has been spotted next!

Erin Davies, fag bug, hate crime, fag bug campaign, activism on wheels

This week’s Come Out Play post spotlights coming out on the job.

I work a nine-to-five job at pretty large corporation downtown in which most of my day is spent writing in some shape or form, coming up with catchy taglines and trading witty comments with my co-workers. At work, it’s no secret that I am a lesbian. In fact, I’ve never been one to hide or avoid it.

Now don’t get the wrong idea. I don’t wear rainbow colored socks to work every day, nor do I have a huge rainbow flag waving over my cubicle, flapping in the wind of the air conditioner. What tipped my coworkers off? I don’t know exactly. It might have been that little ditty I wrote for a My View Column in The Buffalo News in November off 2005 about gay marriage where I basically announced to the entire city that I was, in fact, a lesbian and that I also wanted to get married someday. Shrug. OR it could simply be the fact that I talk openly about who I am and trust that I work with a good group of solid individuals who are all open minded and accepting. I know that I am lucky because I can’t imagine what my work days would be like if I had to hide my sexuality. But for others, it might be more difficult depending on the situation. Coming out at work involves a wealth of factors from how close you are to your co-workers to what the non-discrimination policy is to what type of atmosphere you work in.

For those of you who haven’t come out yet, or are thinking about coming out at work, Human Rights Campaign offers some sound tips as well as some important questions to consider:

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This week’s Notable Lesbian is:

Charlotte Saunders Cushman
July 23, 1816 - February 18, 1876

Born in Boston, Massachusetts, Charlotte was encouraged by her mother to take up singing and after attempting opera unsuccessfully, she tried acting, making her stage debut in 1836 in New Orleans. She went on to become one of the greatest actresses of her day, successful at home as well as on the London stage. Her repertoire encompassed a wide range of parts, including male roles such as Romeo. A commanding presence both on and offstage, Cushman used her fortune and fame to champion the work of other women artists, among them her lover Emma Stebbins.

Interesting tid bit:

Charlotte was not attractive physically, in the traditional sense. She had been a tomboy during her early years, was strong, confident, and although not large she was of a robust build. It was, then, her wit and energy that captivated her audiences. While establishing herself as an actress, Charlotte also did some creative writing. She wrote poetry, short stories and the novel, The Half Sisters, published in 1848. In 1915 she was elected to the New York University Hall of Fame.

“To try to be better is to be better.” ~ Charlotte Cushman

If you have a suggestion for a Notable Lesbian, e-mail me at lyndsey.darcangelo@451press.net or use the contact form above and I’ll highlight her in an upcoming post.

notable lesbian, charlotte saunders cushman, emma stebbins, the half sisters, new york university

These days it seems that just about everyone is a lesbian. Maybe that’s what’s really going on here. Maybe, we are all gay inside and we all just need a little prodding here and there to finally admit it. Or maybe I drank to much gourmet coffee this morning. When my friend Allison sent me this story I thought it was a publicity stunt of some kind, but it’s legit. Coral currently pinch hits for the Lesbo Lovers … I wonder if she’ll stay on the roster?

Why do you think you were picked for The Real World?
To this day, I really don’t know. It could possibly be my breasts. They’re very large. I did talk a lot of shit. I was very outgoing. Maybe they thought it would be easier to shoot me than some introvert.

You weren’t exactly the “nice person” that season.
I was the bitch of my season. Not the ‘Oh my God, I hate that bitch and want to kill her!’ It was more like ‘She’ll tell me what she thinks. She’s outspoken and not going to let anybody get away with anything.’ For me, that’s not bad. Yes, I was the bitch of my season, but every season has one. I’d rather be the bitch than the slut.

There’s definitely one of those every season.
There is! There’s the slut and the bitch. I’ll take the bitch, thank you.

They keep calling you back!
For every challenge, they call me back. For the last two, I’ve declined. I was working on other projects. Right now I’m contemplating going on the next one. Honestly, they’re very stressful. I just don’t feel like going to Mexico to cuss a bunch of people out. It’s not worth my time. Plus, I’m old. They’ve got 19-year old girls on there. And I have a record of never being voted off. I’m trying to keep that record. (Laughing.)

What is your sexual orientation?
You dated men on Real World.
Oh, yeah. It’s very cloudy at this point in time. I’m definitely venturing toward my lesbian qualities. It’s been a long time coming. At that time, I was really unsure. That was not the proper venue, the proper platform. To come out to your parents on a fucking reality show, I think that’s just mean, so I didn’t.

Your girlfriend is very beautiful.
She’s not my girlfriend. I’m attracted to beautiful women. Beautiful women tend to be attracted to me. It really seems to work out for me.

You’re coming out more, doing LGBT events?
I’ve always been really supportive of the community. I just felt it was something I belonged to and had to show up for. I love doing this kind of thing. It’s really positive and shows we’re capable and can run shit. Gay men run shit in L.A., honey. If you want to go out with somebody in L.A., they have businesses and money and depth. Gay men are coming up and are very under-estimated.

Do you feel a sense of responsibility now that you’re coming out?
I guess I get a little nervous. Just saying it is a little . . . It’s a little surreal. I’m not scared. I walk around holding hands. It’s not a problem for me, but I do fear backlash to some degree. Everyone has something negative to say, and I don’t really want to deal with it. Other than that, I don’t care. Hell, I’m old. I’m 28!

That is not old.
I know, but I can’t live my life like that anymore. I felt I was shorting myself. At the time I came out, I was dating someone really special. I wanted to introduce them. That was my thing: If I’m dating someone really, really, really special, that was the time to come out. I wanted to introduce them to the woman I love. It was all about timing for me.

On one hand, it’s great to come when you’ll have that personal support. On the other, it’s frustrating that we, as a community, feel we need that “excuse” – that relationship . . .
We have to have an excuse, that relationship to “validate” us. It becomes, “It’s because I love her, as a person. It doesn’t anything to do with me being gay . . .” It is a shame! I think that it’s mostly because there are so many old people. When they die off, we’ll be fine. In 20 years, 25 years, it will be no big deal. In other countries, Brazil, Australia, they don’t care about that type of stuff. I think we’re just kind of behind a little bit.

Is there a division in the lesbian community…
Oh, you mean between the butch/femme, the andro…

Between the politicized and less political lesbian?
Yes, but I just live my life regular and have regular relationships. I’ve never been a “politics” person. I don’t fit in. I’m not really a Democrat, and I’m definitely not a Republican. I just try to stay out of that, working in [San Francisco], we have a GLBT Center there, and in counseling. I work at a rape crisis center. Stuff like that is more ‘home’ to me. Politically, what I say there doesn’t matter. Stuff happens above me.

Is it a difficult transition from television celebrity to working at a rape crisis center?
I did that right when I got off. No, it wasn’t difficult for me. I consider myself a regular person. I’m not that famous. I can still walk around. People just want pictures. I love it! I think it’s hot. I was a big dork in high school, so now it’s payback. My 10 year reunion is coming, and I’m going – and bringing a date! I’m actually really happy right now. I’m really happy!
- Out-Look Magazine

I’ve got my money on Kathy Griffin to be the next D-list celebrity to make waves by showing off her lesbian qualities!

mtv, the real world, coral, lesbian qualities, kathy griffin, d-list celebrity, outlook magazine

Remember the “fag bug?”
Here’s an update from Erin Davies herself:

Last weekend, fagbug was in her first pride parades, Syracuse (my hometown) and Albany (where I live now). My mom, sister, niece and girlfriend marched with me at Syracuse Pride.

As we were lining up to be in the parade everyone that was involved noticed my car and had a dialogue about it. It’s interesting to see how gay people respond in a gay setting versus the general public outside of a gay setting. Because I was at a gay pride event people seem to wonder if it’s a real thing or not.

In the general public when I’m getting gas or groceries no one seems to question it. They take it for face value. Someone spray painted my car. The morning I went to get ready for Albany Pride, I went to my car and received my 6th note on my car. It read, “I saw what someone did to your car a week or so ago and it really made me sad. I think hate like that hurts everyone whether they be gay or straight or other. I would like you to know that there are good people out there. Please have a night out on me. It’s not much but I hope it helps. ~A neighbor”

This neighbor left me two free tickets to an independent movie theatre as well as a $10 gift certificate to the cafe next door. Although one person did something hurtful, this whole experience has been so positive to realize how many more good people there are in the world.Albany pride was very emotional beginning with getting this letter on my dash to start it all off. I feel I’ve gotten both positive and negative support in Albany in general and even within my own friend group. Some people are 100% behind me others are 0%. Because of making this so public I am opening myself up to all types of critique. Given that I’ve received some negative feedback in my own hometown, it was emotional to drive my car in the parade. I didn’t expect it but toward the end I just started balling my eyes out. I got a ton of support from everyone on the parade route and it just sort of made everything come out. I felt like what I was doing was really big even for myself, to get negative feedback and still be driving my car around.

It’s really hard day to day, and I am always vulnerable with it. I don’t think I had ever just cried about what actually happened, but being in the Albany parade, where it happened, and where I’m receiving a lot of criticism, made it all gush out. Every emotional I felt about it came out. I wiped my tears and kept driving and tried to smile and wave to everyone. I was so please to see all the support I had as a whole. So many people came to my booth and hugged me and shook my hand. I even met the mayor of Albany and the Chief of Police who are going to help catch the person who did it.

Erin Davies will be checking in weekly to let us us know where the “fag bug” is going on its cross-country journey, and what she’s been up to along the way. Keep a look out to see where the “fag bug” has been spotted next!

Erin Davies, fag bug, hate crime, fag bug campaign, activism on wheels

Apparently, Paris is.

Sigh.

I’m not all that keen about starting off the week on such a depressing note. After all, it’s Monday. And on Mondays, people need a little boost to get them going, they need a little pat on the back, a smile, perhaps an encouraging word or two that will add a slight kick to their step, Fred Astaire-like, and entice them to get lost in an optimistic montage of expectations that maybe the week won’t be as bad, that maybe Mondays can actually be enjoyable …

But no. I had to go and deliver some crappy news that will not only damper your Monday, but will most likely cast an ominous shadow across the country as a whole for weeks to come.

Case in point: Paris Hilton getting thrown back to the slammer was considered “breaking news” on every major news station as well as every major affiliate. Even the little scroll-thingy sliding every so discretely across the televisions informed you of the Paris situation, which was apparently so essential, that you were kept up-to-date as helicopters circled around her lavish four-bedroom home in the hills to capture the monumental moment.

Meanwhile, another horrific (and undoubtedly more pressing than Paris) incident had taken place as the rest of us sat by, unaware and uniformed. This incident was indeed a crime, a crime of hate actually. But I am beginning to wonder who the real criminal is. Isn’t it the job of the media to inform us of both wrongdoings and of major noteworthy achievements, of opening our eyes to injustice (however brutal), to shed some light on society’s imperfections, and to keep us abreast of the constant occurrence of important factual events? Would it not be a crime to let such things go unreported? If so, then I too am a criminal. Because I failed to inform my readers as well.

Here is my chance at redemption …
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This week’s Come Out & Play post spotlights Chi from Arizona. Chi told me her story through OurChart, a lesbian social-networking site spun from the L Word.

This is Chi’s story:

I am probably a classic case … busted by a love letter. I was 15 years old staying the weekend at my Grandma’s so since I couldn’t see my girl and was going crazy I figured I’d write a scrumptious love note telling her how I was going out of my mind not being able to see her. So I sat down and wrote this love letter filled with all these detailed feelings and actions a hormonal 15-year-old would write (definitely something you would not want your parents to see), tossed in a nice poem, folded it up and set it in my dresser drawer and went about my day.

Well the next morning I wake up and at breakfast my Grandma asks me if there is something I want to tell her … why does family ask that, it is such an open-ended question you don’t even know how to respond and then they get upset when you question them about what they’re talking about … sorry on to the story. So of course when she asked if there was something I wanted to tell her I started running through my mind of all the things I had recently done that she might of found out about, not once thinking about the letter. So I asked her what she was talking about and then … bum bum bum she tossed the letter on the table and asked who I had wrote this letter to.

See I wasn’t out so I didn’t use a name in the letter but there were definitely some female references in there, so I told her is was to a girl named Racquel,it was a small town so my Grandma knew her and her family. She calmly got up went to the phone and called her parents and told them they needed to come over and to bring their daughter, then called my Mom and Dad and told them the same.

My Grandma has this big oak table that seats about 12 people and so everyone arrived one by one starring at each other wondering what is going on. My Grandma looks at me and says, “Chi is there something you want to tell everyone?” of course I knew what she was talking about this time, so after a long hesitation I look at my girls parents and say, “So ummm … how do I put this, me and Racquel have been hanging out and we’re into each other” there was complete silence, then there was what sounded like a sonic boom and everyone was talking at once. Me and Racquel were just looking at each other with that Oh Sh*t now what look as this went on for about an hour.

My Grandma turned to us and said Chi take Racquel to your room and say your good-byes because this is over. We went to my room and of course we didn’t say good-bye we were teenagers and rebellious so we giggled a little, kissed and said we would see each other on Monday. Our families, mine particularly tried to keep us apart, I swear I was grounded forever, eventually Racquel and I moved on and my family came to terms and now I am greatful my Grandma found that love letter because although I was forced out I couldn’t imagine being closeted.

Tune in every Friday for the Come Out & Play series, featuring coming out stories of celebrities, every day people, personal reflections, advice, tid bits and everything else concerning the complicated world of coming out!

Got an interesting coming out story to tell? Contact me and I will feature it in an upcoming post of Come Out & Play.

come out and play, coming out stories, come out, coming out high school, our chart, the l word

This week’s Notable Lesbian is:

Margarethe “Grethe” Cammermeyer
March 24, 1942 -

Margarethe is a former colonel in the Washington National Guard and a gay rights activist. She was born in Oslo, Norway, and became a United States citizen in 1960. In 1961 she joined the Army Student Nurse Program and received a B.S. in Nursing in 1963 from the University of Maryland. In response to a question during a routine security clearance interview in 1989, Margarethe unknowingly disclosed that she was a lesbian. The “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy was not yet in effect at the time, and the National Guard began military discharge proceedings against her. On June 11, 1992, she was honorably discharged from the military. A lawsuit was filed against the decision in civil court. In June 1994, Judge Thomas Zilly of the Federal District Court in Seattle ruled her discharge, and the ban on gays and lesbians serving in the military, unconstitutional. Margarethe returned to the National Guard and served as one of the only officially accepted openly gay or lesbian people in the military until her retirement in 1997.

Interesting tid bit:
Margarethe met her partner, Diane Divelbess, in 1988, when she was 46 — after she had ended a 15-year marriage to a man and had four sons. A television movie about Cammermeyer’s story, Serving in Silence, was made in 1995, with Glenn Close starring as Cammermeyer. Its content was largely taken from the book of the same name.

“I have learned that if I am uncomfortable, it is where I need to be. It is only by challenging others with our humanity that we will become human in their eyes. I will continue to speak out and I hope you do too.” - Margarethe Cammermeyer

Order the book, Serving in Silence.

If you have a suggestion for a Notable Lesbian, e-mail me at lyndsey.darcangelo@451press.net or use the contact form above and I’ll highlight her in an upcoming post.

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The author of America’s most celebrated novel about fictional gay athletes has garnered yet another literary distinction with her first nonfiction book about real-life sports figures titled, The Lavender Locker Room: 3000 years of Great Athletes Whose Sexual Orientation Was Different.

Patricia Nell Warren, whose 1974 landmark novel, The Front Runner, became an international bestseller and the first modern gay love story to become successful in mainstream America, has won the Independent Publisher Gold Medal this year for Best Gay/Lesbian book.

Chosen as one of the top independent tomes out of 2,690 entries from all fifty states, eight Canadian provinces, and 17 countries overseas, Warren’s winning entry is an anthology of historical essays which chronicle the lives of real gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender athletes over the past three millennia.

Among the sports figures featured in The Lavender Locker Room are golfer Babe Didrikson, boxer Wilhelm von Homburg, pilot Amelia Earhart, downhill skier Erik Schinegger, jockey John Damien, and 14th century jouster Jeanne la Pucelle, better known as Joan of Arc.

“These true, in-depth profiles span many cultures and countries and run the sexuality gamut,” explains Warren, “They focus on the personal stories of these remarkable athletes and their lasting contributions to sport itself.”

“My intent in telling these stories is to prove that athletes with different sexualities in sport did not just happen in recent times,” Warren declares, “It has been going on for centuries.”

Warren, who at age 71 will celebrate her 35th anniversary as an bestselling author next year, is pleased with this latest honor for her newest book, which recently became the top Gay History Bestseller on Amazon.com, and hopes it will continue to draw greater attention to the unknown contributions made to sports by gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered athletes.

Although she has written eight novels and four books of poetry, and has attracted an estimated thirty million readers with her diverse literary subjects ranging from gay life to Native American philosophy. However, it was Warren’s milestone novel about openly gay and lesbian athletes which made literary history three decades ago by cracking the New York Times best-seller list as “the most moving, monumental love story ever written about gay life.” Published in 21 separate editions and translated into eleven languages to date, The Front Runner has sold an estimated ten million copies, and continues to be one of the top selling gay novels worldwide.

The Independent Publisher Gold Medal is not Warren’s first literary honor. She was also nominated for the Benjamin Franklin Award this year for her sports anthology. Her other past accolades include the Gay & Lesbian Literary Hall of Fame, the National Cowboy Hall of Fame Western Heritage Award, the Lambda Literary Award, the Saints & Sinners Hall of Fame, and the Barry Goldwater Award from the Arizona Human Rights Fund.

Purchase The Lavender Locker Room

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