Lez Keep It Real

My official last post for Lez Keep it Real. It’s a doozie!

A few weeks ago, when the NCAA tournament was wrapping up its 2008 run, ESPN aired a six-minute segment called “the whispers” about negative recruiting tactics in women’s college basketball on their investigative reporting show, Outside the Lines. Two days later, the segment was nowhere to be found.

The six-minute bit was filler, if not a less important part, of a longer, more in-depth look at the rivalry between legendary coaches Pat Summit and Geno Auriemma. Aired on Sunday with the segment intact, the powers that be at EPSN decidedly removed “the whispers” as if it never even existed. The video clip could no longer be found on the website and subsequent airings of the Geno and Pat feud ran without it included.
“The whispers” simply became just that — whispers.

What I don’t understand about this is the fact that ESPN took a brave step in initiating a conversation about a practice that is prevalent in women’s basketball only to sweep it under the rug a day or two later. Why even bother? Why open Pandora’s box if you are just going to close it.

Well, the answer is as good as any I suppose. It seems that any conversation in sports that centers on homosexuality is taboo. A big no, no. An elephant in the room. Whatever cliché you prefer, it doesn’t matter.

For those of you who didn’t see the segment or weren’t able to look it up online, I’ll gladly fill you in. “The whispers” made the blatant link between homophobia and the decline in the number of women coaches. Ever since the Pokey Chapman incident in March 2007, parents and athletes alike are more wary of attending any basketball program headed by a woman who is not married or has not yet developed a solid, wholesome reputation. If there are “whispers” surrounding her sexuality, well, that’s enough of a reason to play for some other school. Some colleges and universities use this to their advantage. They steer top recruits away from other programs by claiming their team and staff is free and clear of homosexuality. The “climate” is wholesome, the coach is a family-oriented and no, you will not be exposed to any lesbian predators at our school.

Like it or not, this is what happens day in and day out in the world of women’s college basketball recruiting. Gone are the days of saying, “Our program is better because of academics and discipline.” Now it comes down to this — “Our program is better because we don’t believe in homosexuality.”

When I first saw the segment, my first thought “it’s about time.” I applauded ESPN for putting it out there, for trying to turn “whispers” into full on conversations, for opening a dialogue that is long overdo. And then, the titan of the sports media world crumbled in the face of adversity and cowered to whatever public outrage the segment must have produced. Why else would they have removed it? Someone must have complained. A sponsor perhaps? A university spokesman? Whoever it was must have surely had the upper hand. I mean, come on. This is ESPN, the most-watched sports network of the century! They wouldn’t just bow down to anybody, would they?

Imagine if every one of us who has come out of the closet decided to suddenly go back in. That’s exactly what this feels like. The conversation was started, the closet door opened and we were finally going to discuss the existence of homosexuality in women’s basketball instead of ignoring as we have done for years. Then the closet door abruptly closed and it’s as if the conversation never even existed.
ESPN aptly titled the segment “the whispers,” because now that’s all that exists — whispers. There are whispers about Pokey Chapman. There are whispers about lesbian coaches and players. And there are whispers about homosexuality in the WNBA and college basketball. Unfortunately, until we full address these whispers, that’s all they will remain. Whispers.

espn, the whispers, pokey chatman, pokey chapman

Well, this is it folks. I’ve decided to end my run here at 451 Press. I had so much fun writing and ranting about life and all its complexities. But when you feel the impending urge to move on, you can’t ignore it.

I’ll be around as I have some exciting projects in the works. You may see me on the bookshelves relatively soon. Also, I’m starting a forum/site for aspiring writers called “I Wanna Write” or “Learning the Write Way.” I haven’t decided which one yet. It’s still in the works but I plan for to be chalk full of tips, advice, resources and other wonderful writing tid bits.

Fare thee well my lesbian friends. Be well. Spread the love. Adios.

tags can kiss my ass on the way out!

He wants you to listen, that is, to his public service announcement. He used his good looks, the little twinkle in mesmerizing green eyes and his celebrity status to make a point.

And you know what? It’s actually a good one.

My only complaint is the blue button down shirt and the hair. I miss the Lance of old, with vintage T-shirts and spiky blond tips. I won’t even touch upon the fact that his new nose just doesn’t seem to fit his face. Remember when Jennifer Grey got a nose job and it was so botched that it basically killed her career? Well, that didn’t happen with Lance. But there’s a noticeable difference in his face. I don’t think he looks worse or anything, but I definitely don’t think he looks better.Regardless, more gay celebs could do PSA’s like this. So kudos to Lance for putting himself out there and using his status as a means to get a positive message across.

lance bass, public service announcement, lance bass nose job

This week’s Notable Lesbian is:
Sarah Waters
1966 -

Sarah Waters is a British novelist. She is best known for her novels set in Victorian society, such as Tipping the Velvet and Fingersmith. She grew up in a family that included her father, mother, and sister. Her mother was a housewife and her father an engineer who worked on oil refineries. She describes her family as “pretty idyllic, very safe and nurturing.” Her father, “a fantastically creative person,” encouraged her to build and invent. Waters was a “completely tomboyish child”, but “got into” femininity in her teenage years. She had always been attracted to boys, and it was not until university that she first fell in love with a woman.

Interesting tid bit:
Before writing novels, Waters worked as an academic, earning a doctorate and teaching.Waters went directly from her doctoral thesis to her first novel. It was during the process of writing her thesis that she thought she would write a novel; she began as soon as the thesis was complete. Her work is very research-intensive, which is an aspect she enjoys. All of her books contain lesbian themes, and she does not mind being labeled a lesbian writer. She said, “I’m writing with a clear lesbian agenda in the novels. It’s right there at the heart of the books.” She calls it “incidental,” because of her own sexual orientation. “That’s how it is in my life, and that’s how it is, really, for most lesbian and gay people, isn’t it? It’s sort of just there in your life.”

More Notable Lesbians

If you have a suggestion for a Notable Lesbian, e-mail me at ldark21@yahoo.com or use the contact form above and I’ll highlight her in an upcoming post.

*Some information provided by Wikipedia.com

notable lesbians, famous lesbians,

I haven’t touched upon the “pregnant man” story as of yet. I think I was still trying to digest what it all really meant or stood for. I’m not really fond of the way it’s paraded through the media, billed as some “Ripley’s Believe It Or Not” phenomena, because it’s far more complex than that.

As you all know, I’m a big proponent of transgendered rights. I don’t know even know how I’d deal with being stuck in the wrong body, the therapy that would require, the time and understanding — everything surrounding the transgender concept. And I thought being gay was hard to come to terms with!!

Anyway, I left the “pregnant man” story alone because I just couldn’t formulate my thoughts about it without going off on a tangent or feeling as though I just didn’t get it.

I will say that I am happy Thomas Lagondino is going to have child. And that is a wonderful thing. But from what I understand about being transgendered, I can’t for the life of me figure out what man is his right mind would want to carry a child? Thomas has maintained that he is a man stuck in a female body. I get that. He did what he needed to do to line up his body with the appropriate gender by taking testosterone and having “top” surgery. If Thomas really felt like man finally, after all of that, then why would he agree to carry a child? Are there different levels of being transgendered? Can you feel as though you are a man and still have certain female inclinations?

My thinking is that most transgendered people want to be known as the gender they have transformed into and not the gender they once were. I know certain individuals who say that they’ve worked so hard to gain their manhood that calling them “she” or “her” or even by their former name is a slap in the face.

If Thomas worked so hard to gain that manhood, why would he volunteer to do something that essentially makes his manhood null and void?

Some argue that gender is state of mind. So it could be said that Thomas is mentally a man but physically still a women. But with all the therapy and struggle it takes to carve out a distinctive male identity, you would think that becoming pregnant would cause certain emotional, mental and, without a doubt, physical strain.

I would like to clarify that I don’t look down on Thomas in any way, shape or form. But I do look at him, scratch my head, and wonder — is this really all for the sake of having a child?

Many men long to be a parent but I can’t name a single one who has the inherent need to carry a child in his belly.

For another point of view, read this column in the Boston Globe. Keep in mind that I don’t share the same views as the writer, but I do respect his opinion. I respect everyone’s opinion. Even yours. So leave me a comment and let me know what you think about the “pregnant man.”

pregnant man, boston globe, transgendered, thomas Lagondino, ripley’s believe it or not

“Snooooooop.”

You have to hand it to the Doggy Dog, he knows how to make a club banger. And this little pearl of wisdom could be applied to other aspects of life, not just in the club.

When I say “drop it like it’s hot,” I’m obviously talking about that lump sticking out behind you. When Rep. Barney Frank says it, he’s talking about the Presidential race for 2008.

(more…)

So said Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger in “The Running Man.”

You remember that movie, don’t you? It was loosely based on the novel Stephen King wrote. Schwarzenegger was a prisoner of war for a crime he didn’t commit and thus thrust into the limelight of a futuristic game show in which criminals were put into outrageous life or death situations against heroic gladiator types for the world to see. The entire premise of the movie is not out of the realm of possibility. That’s the scary part.

The ironic part is that Schwarzenegger’s character was completely against government and politics. And now he’s the Governor of California.

Interesting to say the least.

When you think about it though, navigating politics is a means of survival. Gay, lesbian and transgendered people are constantly trying to live their lives in the best way they can despite the disparity that exists between heterosexuals and homosexuals in the political landscape.

Gov. Schwarzenegger isn’t just acting anymore. He’s making political decisions that affect every GLBT individual in the state of California. And it looks as though he’s making a good one for once.

Governator To Fight Anti-Gay Amendment
by 365Gay.com Newscenter Staff

(San Diego, California) California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger says that if an initiative to ban gay marriage qualifies for the November ballot, he’s prepared to fight it.

California’s governor spoke Friday in San Diego at the convention of the Log Cabin Republicans, the nation’s largest gay Republican group.

He has previously vetoed bills that would have legalized gay marriage. Both times Schwarzenegger said that the courts or the people through a plebiscite should decide the issue.

The California Supreme Court took up same-sex marriage earlier this year. A decision by the court is expected by June 5th.

Conservative groups, supported by many California Republicans, are working to gather signatures to put a same-sex marriage constitutional ban on the November ballot.

Schwarzenegger said he was confident a ban would never pass in California and called the effort “a waste of time.”

Schwarzenegger’s remarks came during a public discussion with Log Cabin President Patrick Sammon about the future of the Republican Party.

Sammon asked the Governor whether he would oppose the effort to ban same-sex marriage.

Schwarzenegger replied: “First of all, I think that it [the marriage ban] will never happen in California. I think that California people are much further along on that issue. And, number two, I will always be there to fight against that. It will never happen.” READ MORE

I have to applaud his actions here and I agree with his statement that people are much further along on the gay marriage issue. But not just in California. This kind of statement is being made throughout all parts of the country. Many conscious-minded individuals are asking the same question — what’s the point? Get over it.

Like the infamous action hero he once was, The “Governator” is looking this issue dead in the eye and saying, “Gay Marriage Ban … you won’t be back.”

I have a funny feeling that there won’t be a sequel.

For more brilliant Schwarzenegger quotes, go here.

arnold schwarzenegger, stephen king, the running man, gay marriage ban, log cabin republicans

This week’s Notable Lesbian is:
Ilene Chaiken

Ilene Chaiken is a television director, producer and screenwriter. She is the creator, writer and executive producer of the television series The L Word. Chaiken had previously written the screenplay Barb Wire (1996), and the television films Dirty Pictures (2000), and Damaged Care (2002) before the success of The L Word raised her profile. She was also the coordinating producer for the Fresh Prince of Bel Air and the associate producer for Satisfaction in 1988. Prior to writing and producing, she worked as an agent trainee for Creative Artists Agency, and as an executive for Aaron Spelling and Quincy Jones Entertainment.

Interesting tid bit:
Chaiken’s partner is English architect Miggi Hood. They have twin daughters Tallulah and Augusta. She produced the movie Satisfaction in 1998 with Justine Bateman, a film about an all-girl band that also starred Julia Roberts and Liam Neeson. She was also instrumental in launching the online lesbian social network, OurChart.

More Notable Lesbians

If you have a suggestion for a Notable Lesbian, e-maill me at lyndsey.darcangelo@451press.net or use the contact form above and I’ll highlight her in an upcoming post.

*Some information provided by Wikipedia.com

notable lesbians, famous lesbians, ourchart, ilene chaiken, the l word

I’m so sick of this term, it isn’t even funny. After writing my post for yesterday, I was irked to no end. Especially when I saw a clip from The O’Reilly Factor about how gays are trying to impress their “gay lifestyle” upon mainstream culture.

@#$!!!!

It made me want to send an E-mail to Bill O’Reilly. And this is what I would have said:

Dear Mr. O’Reilly,

What is this “gay lifestyle” you constantly speak of? I am a 30-year-old lesbian who lives quite a boring life. The fact of the matter is that 90 percent of gay people are just like me. We don’t go clubbin’ every night, do drugs, have anonymous sex, force our sexuality on others, have sex in public bathrooms, walk around in leather chaps, spout gay rhetoric wherever we go, read and watch porn on a regular basis, drink ourselves silly, bash religion or religious organizations, or do many of the other outlandish things that are constantly shown on television and newscasts.

Why don’t you show any clips of normal, law-abiding respectful gay individuals on your show?

What bothers me the most is that this is the only exposure to gay people that some people have — what they see on television. And they attribute those images to every single gay person in the world. It just isn’t reality. Shows like “A Shot at Love With Tila Tequilla” or Newscasts showing Pride parade antics do not represent the entire gay population. It is the same for Christians who love and accept everyone but are given a bad rap because of those few radical Christians who make headlines in the media for the wrong reasons. Not every Christian is a radical. It is also the same thing to say that not every African American is a thug. It is an unfair assumption to label gays with the negative connotation that “gay lifestyle” imparts.

I have a great deal of respect for you and your opinion. My father loves you. My girlfriend, while she does not always agree with you, listens to your podcast on a regular basis.

This is our supposed “gay lifestyle:”

We own a house together. We spend vacations with our respective families. We work for highly respected companies. We go to the movies. We eat “family” dinners. We pay taxes. We listen to all sides of every issue, from both the conservative and liberal side. We believe in God. We donate to local and national charities. We love and respect our families. We believe in integrity. We vote.

Basically, I am just a regular person who leads a relatively calm and boring life. If that’s a “gay lifestyle,” then so be it.

Maybe one day we will be judged on who we are rather than what our sexual preference may be.

bill o’reilly, the o’reilly factor, gay lifestyle

Seriously.

Not everything is a slam at the Christian right for Pete’s sake. I have an idea — let’s ban anything and everything that seemingly has to do with promoting the “gay lifestyle.”

Because really, that’s what it’s all about. Our main goal in life is to shove our homosexual agenda in the face of all religious and conservative groups and individuals in hopes of brainwashing them and forcing them to commit destructive and unholy behaviors.

I don’t know about you but my main goal in life is to be happy and enjoy life. That has nothing at all to do with conservative or the Christian right.

And neither does this:

(Reedsburg, Wisconsin) 365gay.com ~ An elementary-school event in which kids were encouraged to dress as members of the opposite gender drew the ire of a Christian radio group, whose angry broadcast prompted outraged calls to the district office.

Students at Pineview Elementary in Reedsburg had been dressing in costume all last week as part of an annual school tradition called Wacky Week.

On Friday, students were encouraged to dress either as senior citizens or as members of the opposite sex.

A local resident informed the Voice of Christian Youth of America on Friday.

The Milwaukee-based radio network responded by interrupting its morning programming for a special broadcast that aired on nine radio stations throughout Wisconsin.

The broadcast criticized the dress-up day and accused the district of promoting alternative lifestyles.

“We believe it’s the wrong message to send to elementary students,” said Jim Schneider, the network’s program director. “Our station is one that promotes traditional family values.

“It concerns us when a school district strikes at the heart and core of the Biblical values. To promote this to elementary-school students is a great error.” READ MORE

Here’s a little tid-bit of advice for the Christian right … It’s not always about you!

The principal of the school put it best when she said, “our purpose was not to promote cross-dressing, homosexuality or alternative gender roles. Our purpose was to have a Wacky Week, mixing in a bit of silliness with our reading, writing and arithmetic.”

The only thing “wacky” about this situation is the Christian radio show that made such a stink about this in the first place. Kids play dress up all the time. It has nothing to do with cross-dressing. It’s fun to simply pretend to be someone or something else.

If you let a kid dress up in an animal costume, does that mean you are promoting bestiality? See how absolutely ludicrous that sounds?

Let kids be kids for crying out loud. Quit trying to make everything an issue or a crusade. It literally makes me sick.

wacky week, cross-dressing, pineview elementary, voice of christian youth of america

Is it so wrong that a decorated military official who achieved accolade after accolade turned out to be gay?

According to the military it is:

The Washington Blade ~ A Wikipedia article about Maj. Alan Rogers, a gay soldier who was killed in January in Iraq, was apparently edited by someone in the Pentagon, who removed any mention that Rogers was gay.

The user on Monday redacted details about Rogers that appeared on the online encyclopedia site. Information that was deleted included Rogers’ sexual orientation; the soldier’s participation in American Veterans for Equal Rights, a group that works to change military policy toward gays; and the fact that Rogers’ death helped bring the U.S. military’s casualty toll in Iraq to 4,000.

Rob Pilaud, a patent agent and a friend of Rogers who attended the soldier’s funeral, restored the information to the Wikipedia article the next day. Pilaud was among Rogers’ friends who created the Wikipedia page.

The anonymous poster also provided the following comment in the “discussion” section about the article:

“Alan’s life was not about his sexual orientation but rather about the body of work he performed ministering to others and helping the defense of the country,” the poster wrote. “Quit trying to press an agenda that Alan wouldn’t have wanted made public just to suit your own ends.”

The IP address attached to the deletion of the details and the posted comments is 141.116.168.135. The address belongs to a computer from the office of the Army Deputy Chief of Staff for Intelligence (G-2) at the Pentagon. The office is headed by Lt. Gen. John Kimmons, who was present at Rogers’ funeral and presented the flag from Rogers’ coffin to his cousin, Cathy Long.

The Army’s public affairs office did not return a call seeking comment. READ MORE

If you aren’t familiar with Rogers, here’s a brief summary from Wikipedia:

Major Alan Greg Rogers (September 21, 1967 – January 27, 2008) was an ordained pastor, a US Army Major and Intelligence Officer, a civil rights activist in the gay, lesbian and bisexual military community and the first known gay combat fatality of Operation Iraqi Freedom. The subsequent coverage of his death in the media sparked a debate over the effect of the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) policy and what information should be included in the biography of a gay military person killed in action.

Why does it have to be a secret? Like it or not, being gay is part of who Major Alan Glen Rogers was. Keeping that fact hidden is misleading to Americans and disrespectful to him.

What’s the big deal any way? Why would the military go to such great lengths to keep Rogers’ sexuality a secret? I have a guess.

Could it be because if word got out that people in the military can be successful and achieve greatness regardless of his or her sexual orientation, the military would have no ground on which to base their ludicrous theory that homosexuality is a threat to national security?

Could it be that success stories such as these in which a military official is proven to be a tremendous leader amongst his or her peers regardless of his or her sexual orientation may eventually help overturn “Don’t ask, don’t tell?”

I think so.

This kind of thing gets me so heated. When are we going to accept the fact that sexuality has no bearing on the way in which a person pulls a trigger on a machine gun?

The military knows that it doesn’t matter. And the truth is that they don’t care who takes the bullet or who fires the missile. They just don’t want America to become comfortable with gays, because once that happens it will become a non-issue. And stories about war heroes who happen to be gay won’t help their cause in painting homosexuality as debilitating and harmful.

That is why these kind of stories are the ones that need to be heard the most.

the washington blade, major alan glen rogers, don’t ask don’t tell

I can’t take credit for this one. I have to give a shout out to “Mel” for bringing this article to my attention. On my last Pokey update, Mel commented on how she is still “searching for answers” because she loves Pokey and was horrified when she abruptly departed ways with LSU.

Thanks to Mel, we have an update from AfterEllen.com:
(more…)

Or so the military thinks.

Seriously. Aren’t there more pressing issues for the military to address than this?

(more…)

You probably don’t remember that quote. I do. And every time I say it to myself, I laugh out loud.

It’s Forest Gump for cryin’ out loud. How can you not laugh?

Forrest Gump to unsuspecting woman on the park bench: From then on, everywhere I went … I WAS RUNNING!

Anyways …

I’m lying though because I wasn’t the one running, my girlfriend was. She decided to run a full marathon (26.2 miles) this past Sunday with my sister-in-law at the ING race in Atlanta, GA. That’s why you haven’t heard from me in a few days.

I was supposed to write a post to let you all know where I was going to be for the weekend, but I forgot. We left early Friday morning (and by early I mean our flight was at 7 a.m.) and Thursday night I had to pack and tie up some loose ends with some of my other writing gigs so it slipped my mind.

I got home yesterday and all I wanted to do was crash. It was a family trip, and family can be exhausting sometimes. All in all, I felt bad for my girlfriend. She ran 23 miles before she had to stop because of severe dehydration and heat exhaustion. After months of training she developed a chest cold about a week ago and just couldn’t shake it. Your body naturally loses fluids whenever you are sick so she started off a step behind. That kind of distance and physical strain caused her body to shut down.

Picture this. I’m standing at the finish line with her mother. I see my sister-in-law run by and I think that my girlfriend should be by any second now. And hour later and I knew something was wrong. Then my phone rang and it was an attendant from one of the medical tents along the route telling me they had taken my “friend” to the hospital. The hospital was six blocks away and I was in downtown Atlanta without a clue of how to get there. Thankfully, a nice young EMS guy gave her mother and I a ride to the hospital.

I felt two things when I saw my girlfriend laying in the emergency room. Panic and relief. I panicked once I saw her and I was relieved once they told me she was going to be fine. They loaded her up with fluids and blankets. I did my part by going to get her some ice cream from the cafeteria (hey, it’s what she asked for). Then she cried in disappointment and it broke my heart. Who could blame her? She made it 23 miles … 23. She only had three more to go. But still, it was quite the feat. Not many people can run a marathon, let alone 23 miles. Once she realized that, she felt better.

The best part for me was when they came into the room to complete the paperwork before she could be released. I guess when she came in she was so disoriented, she couldn’t do more than mutter her own name. They began to ask her the regular questions — her name, her address, her insurance carrier, blah, blah, blah. Then they asked her if she was single or married.

That’s when she lit up, grinned at the woman and said, “I’m engaged.”

She looked over at me and I smiled back. I knew then she was going to be just fine.

marathon, ING marathon, Atlanta GA, Forrest Gump