Lez Keep It Real

According to Reuters, Ellen is the number one television host in the country.

LOS ANGELES, March 26 (Reuters) - American talk show host Ellen DeGeneres has topped rival Oprah Winfrey in a popularity poll of television hosts — while veteran Larry King was labeled the least sexy.

The poll by Web site AOL Television asked readers which daytime TV host made their day and Ellen, who opens “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” by dancing with her audience, trounced Oprah with 46 percent of the vote, while Oprah only won 19 percent.

When asked which daytime host made the ideal dinner guest, again it was Ellen, with 47 percent of respondents saying they would rather dine with her, compared to 14 percent for Oprah, long considered the queen of daytime TV with “The Oprah Winfrey Show.” READ MORE

The poll was calculated from over 1.35 million votes and comprised from a diverse audience from soccer moms to “hipsters” to people who could possibly care less. This whole thing makes me wonder … do people in the bread basket states, the ones with housewives who do watch Ellen on a regular basis, forget that she’s a lesbian? I know for a fact that Ellen doesn’t hide it, in fact she has talked about it on her show on numerous occasions. So, if people in this country still have such a problem with homosexuality then why on earth is she so damn popular?

Why is it okay for Ellen to be gay, but it’s not okay for female athletes or female basketball coaches?

Why is there such a stigma to being gay when it’s not someone prominent on the Hollywood scene? Is Ellen the exception to the rule? Does her humor overshadow the fact that she is gay and lives with her lover, Portia?

I don’t get it at all.

It reminds of a time when black athletes were considered “OK” in the book of white racists simply because they could play a sport. It’s hypocritical and just plain wrong. Discrimination shouldn’t have any exceptions, period. It just shouldn’t exist.

I don’t want to take anything away from Ellen’s honor here as she clearly deserves it. As always, I’m just throwing out another angle on the situation.

ellen degeneres, ellen most popular television host, women’s basketball coaches

Curve Magazine is having a fun little contest in which they are letting their readers decide one and for all who the funniest lesbian comedian is.

I recently wrote an article on Tamale for the upcoming issue. She’s a fashionable lesbian comedian whose performance credits include gender bending, fire dancing, American Tribal belly dancing and, of course, comedy.

Other notable names up for the honor include Ellen, Kate Clinton, Judy Gold, Sabrina Mathews, Elvira Kurt, Rosie, Lilly Tomlin, Suzanne Westenhoefer and a slew of others. You can visit Curve’s website to vote for your favorite.

As for my favorite, I’m not sure. I love me some Ellen. I could listen to her for hours because she just has that quality where she can make you laugh without even trying. And of course I think Lilly Tomlin is hilarious, especially in movie roles. But I also think Suzanne Westenhoefer’s stand-up is pure, stomach-soreness, laugh-till-you-cry, good, clean fun.

Here’s a recent Q&A article with Suzanne from Planet Out:

Is there truth to the saying, “Do what you love and the money will follow?”
There is no truth to the “Do what you love, money will follow” myth. I have made money doing things I hate, and I never get paid for doing what I really love: Laundry. I think it should be, “Do what everyone says you are good at and expect limited funds.” or even “Do what you love and probably get a rash.”

What is your worst habit around finances?
I spend on lap dances for others. This is not a joke. I have to stop.

Are there economic advantages to being a bottom?
Being a bottom means never having to ask where the checkbook is. You are usually lying on it.

What was your big financial break in comedy?
I won $25 the first time I did stand-up.

What was the most miserable “service” job you ever did to subsidize your income?
I love all service jobs. I am a co-dependent, pleaser bottom. I could not, however, do anything that was messy. Like gutting fish … first thing that came to mind.

What’s the best money lesson learned from a romantic encounter?
Never share.

Is The Dinah weekend worth the buck?
The Dinah Shore weekend is totally worth the money IF you get laid, meet a partner or get to see me. Some of you will be able to do all three, and actually be owed money at the end of the weekend.

More about Suzanne Westenhoefer
Fearless, bold, unapologetic, and “freaking hilarious” best describes Comedian Suzanne Westenhoefer. She’s made a career out of telling the truth: Life is funny and no one is off-limits. From her mom’s last will and testament to her dog’s embarrassing discovery, Suzanne shares stories that leave audiences in stitches.

Her comedy special and documentary, “A Bottom on Top,” aired on LOGO Television in fall 2007. It will be available on DVD on March 18, 2008.

curve magazine, favorite lesbian comedian, suzanne westenhoefer, ellen, kate clinton, judy gold, lilly tomlin, tamale

First let me apologize for my absence on Friday. I had a lot going on and couldn’t muster up the energy to post. But I’m back and feeling rejuvenated. Let’s get to it.

Did you watch the Oscars last night?

I did … sort of. There was a Law & Order SVU marathon on USA. So I was flipping back and forth. Watching the Oscars is a very “gay” thing to do. And I wanted to do my part. But, let’s be honest. Only 30 minutes of the Oscars are relevant. The rest is all smoke and mirrors. That’s why they save the “big” awards for the end — they want you to sit through the entire broadcast. I chose to sit through hours of Mariska Hargitay instead. Yummy.

Besides catching Daniel Day Lewis win yet another Oscar and watching the Cohen brothers mill about on stage in an almost arrogant aloofness, I flipped back to the Hollywood elitist broadcast to see something amazing happen. And it had nothing to do with John Stewart or Jack Nicholson.

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It looks as though Kelly McGillis has traded Navy blue for Army green.

As I was watching the L Word last night, I did a double take when the prosecuting attorney in Tasha’s “don’ ask, don’t tell” case came on screen.

Immediately, I wondered … is that the blond bombshell from Top Gun who ignited every man’s (and lesbian’s) fantasy of having sex with an older woman who also happened to be an authority figure clad in a stark white Navy uniform.

Yes, it is.

This is the same woman that made Tom Cruise so weak in the knees that he purposely embarrassed himself by singing “You’ve lost that loving feeling” out loud in front of a crowded bar in a poor attempt (which worked by the way) at wooing her.

Back then, Kelly McGillis’ looks would have even caused me to throw myself at her knees with some crappy karaoke performance. She was that hot.

These days however, she’s looking a little worse for the wear. I’m not sure if that’s part of her character, but man … they made her look like a frumpy old military commander all right.

I’m not sure what’s going to happen in the case. But it looks as though Alice is going to be forced to testify. We’ll see if she coughs up any top secret homosexual information as quickly as she did on her new fake talk show, “The Look.”

Secretly I’m hoping that Kelly McGillis’ character is really an ol’ “G” in the lesbian hood and that she’s just been keeping it on the down low all these years. Regardless, I hope the next role she takes on is a little less unflattering.

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Every Monday, I feel compelled to write about the L Word. This season started off a little shaky for me, but I am loving it now. (Even if Jenny is a crazy biotch).

There’s a few reasons why I am into this season and continue to tune in every Sunday night to watch the lesbian drama unfold.

1. The L Word is like a car accident you just can’t turn away from.
2. The Bette & Tina storyline.
3. Rose Rollins, otherwise known as Tasha.

I think I’ve mentioned the first two reasons before, but the third reason is probably the biggest attraction for me. For those of you who don’t know her, Rose Rollins plays the role of Tasha — a character that is so completely opposite of her in real life.

Tasha is brash, rough around the edges and far from anything remotely feminine. Rose is soft spoken, gentle and far from anything remotely tomboyish.

Rose started out as a model, and it’s pretty obvious why. She is absolutely gorgeous. Her natural beauty is so captivating that sometimes I find myself just watching her during whatever scene she is in, and nothing else. The flawlessness of her complexion amazes me and causes me to wonder if she is even aware of how beautiful she is.

And from an acting perspective, Rose is more than just a pretty face. To sound incredibly cheesy here, she should be arrested for burglary because she steals every scene she’s in. (Stop cringing.) I’m serious! Despite the fact that I can’t take my eyes off of her because of how gorgeous she is, I’m also drawn to her because of how good of an actress she is.

When she is character, I really believe that she is an army captain who’s being investigated for homosexual activity. To compare … I’m still not convinced that Jenny is such a talented writer that Lez Girls has not only been picked up for a movie but she has also been slated to direct it. It could be the fact that she’s the kind of character people love to hate. For that, I give Mia Kirshner thumbs up. But overall, I have to give the acting chops to Rose Rollins.

In a word, she’s infectious. If nothing else, tune in to watch the L Word because of her. In my eyes, she’s the reason I continue to watch myself.

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Everywhere you look on the Internet today, you’ll see it …

Heath Ledger passed away yesterday.

I’m not going to pretend that I knew him, or talk about how great he was and this and that because, quite frankly, I didn’t know him at all. What I knew of him was that he was an amazing actor with an even more amazing smile. I first saw him in the cult classic, 10 Things I Hate About You. There was something about him, a sort of star quality, in which I just had a feeling he’d be around for awhile. But it wasn’t until I saw him in Brokeback Mountain that I really and truly appreciated him as an actor, an individual, and someone who hadn’t fallen prey to the pitfalls of Hollywood by compromising his art.

I didn’t know Heath Ledger. But I respected him greatly. And for that reason, I decided to post the column I wrote about Brokeback Mountain two years ago for Outcome Magazine, here.

Thank you Heath for doing this movie, despite all the risks involved. You not only did the role of Ennis DelMar justice, you made the character as real to me as my own brother. I’m sure Annie Proulx, the author, was just as proud.

While I praise you, others will not. Forgive their ignorance. May you rest in peace.

Why Brokeback broke the mold

(March 2006)

Being that March is Oscar time and, let’s face it, most gay people LOVE the Oscars, I decided to focus my attention on the movie that’s been making headlines for a few months now. And not just because it’s a “gay cowboy movie.”

Brokeback Mountain isn’t just a story about two gay cowboys passing the time while herding sheep with a few romps in the hay. To anyone who addresses it as such, please rephrase. The truth of the matter is this; Brokeback Mountain is a timeless love story. It’s timeless because it will stick with you even after the credits have rolled.

I admit that I was a bit skeptical about the movie before I saw it. I read through the critic’s reviews as swiftly as I would read the back of a cereal box. There have been countless times where I have gone to see a movie simply because it had gotten such rave reviews, then afterwards I find myself wondering if I had maybe missed something that everyone else saw.

When it comes to gay-themed movies, there have been many that have left a dissatisfied taste in my mouth. Either they center on sex, portray reckless behaviors or are done in poor taste. While I may know that these movies do not accurately portray the majority of the gay population, some naïve heterosexuals may rely on these movies to define how they view homosexuality. But after seeing Brokeback Mountain I thought, “This is it. This is the movie that will open up people’s minds.” And how can it not? The adaptation of Annie Proulx’s literary masterpiece is so tastefully and accurately done, it’s as if you are watching the short story unfold page for page upon the screen. Add in some exceptional acting, sprawling scenery and impeccable direction and you’ve got the making of an Oscar winner.

This is a powerful story of two young men, Jack Twist and Ennis DelMar, who meet in the summer of 1963 sheepherding in the harsh, tall grasslands of modern-day Wyoming and form an unlikely yet undeniable bond that spans a lifetime.

The plot of the story focused on a love so intense and unavoidable, that it kept the most two unlikely partners coming back for more. It’s the kind of love that swallows you up whole with the force of a title wave, and leaves you treading ferociously in its aftermath. All you want to do is to be able to keep your head above it, so you don’t end up drowning in it. It’s the kind of love that doesn’t see color, race,or even sexual orientation.

It’s the kind of love that just is.

For anyone who saw this movie and left the theater wondering, “Did I miss something?” I implore you to pick up a copy of the short story, sit down with it in a comfortable chair and indulge. Let the words sink in and I promise you will get it once you are finished.

Being billed simply as a “gay cowboy movie,” doesn’t do it justice because Brokeback Mountain is more complex than some care to admit. It will rest on your mind like an awkward moment, tugging at you for attention while you try to forget it. But you can’t forget it. You’ll find yourself a pinch close to falling asleep, when a scene will suddenly pop into your head, or bit of conversation exchanged between the two main characters will race through your ears. You’ll mutter, “I wish I could quit you,” just like Jack Twist and you’ll merely carry on with your life.

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Letdown.

Yep. That’s the way I felt last night after the L Word premier on Showtime.

Let down.

There has been so much hype about this season and while I feel as though the writing for the show has been far less than impressive, I thought this season might serve as redemption. After the first episode, I think I was wrong. Here’s why.

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I just play one on TV.

I’m always a tad bit critical when I watch a movie or a television show featuring a lesbian character played by a straight actress. It’s not as easy to do as you may think. Some actresses just can’t quite pull it off.

Take Heather Graham for instance. In the movie Gray Matters, she played a lesbian who falls in love with her brother’s girlfriend. Great concept. Believable plot even. Horrible lesbian. Sure, Heather’s easy on the eyes. But a lesbian she is not. Not even on screen. She was so awkward and out of sync with her character, I felt uncomfortable watching her.

The whole point of acting is to be something you’re not. You’re playing a role. A character. You have to make the people watching you believe you are that character. You have to become that role.

The entire time that I was watching Gray Matters, I didn’t believe for a second that Heather Graham was a lesbian.

The fact is that there are only a few straight actresses out there who can really pull off a lesbian role, so much so that I’m often left questioning their sexuality off screen.

They mesmerize. Tantalize. And somehow manage to waltz their way on to my top five.

I’ve made a little list and yes, I’ve checked it twice. I give you the best five straight actresses who played lesbian so well they made me wish (beg, really) that they weren’t just acting.

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Here’s a riddle.

What’s suffering from a severely sprained ankle, has a sore throat and is PMSing in the worst way?

Give up?

Me.

That’s right. I’m in the worst mood possible as circumstances in my life have come together to form the “perfect storm.” I feel dark, cloudy and ominous. Lighting is shooting from my nostrils every few seconds. Honest.

Drama aside, I feel as though I need something light and fluffy today to put me in a better mood, to calm the so-called “storm” that has taken over me at the moment. So I’ve put together a fun little post on the best (and most recent) lesbian couples on television. These are ranked in order from 5 to 1, and are based on my personal preference. If you disagree or feel that anybody is missing - feel free to sound off in the comment section below.

Here they are:

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I’m not usually one who likes to spread gossip. I’d rather write about news stories that are credible and have been confirmed by several media outlets.

But today, just this once, I am going to make an exception. This was one piece of juicy gossip that I couldn’t pass up.

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I remember back in the day when MTV used to play music videos 90 percent of the time. Of course this was back in the 80’s, when music videos were considered a work of art, al la Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” Now, if you want to see a video, you have to go online or subscribe to MTV Two or Three or whatever number they are up to these days.

It seems that the program geniuses at MTV ignored Justin Timberlake’s plea from the Video Music Awards this past year to “Play more videos!”

Instead, they’ve gone ahead with such educational and enlightening programs as “A shot at Love with Tila Tequila.”

Excuse me while I throw up.

The truth is I never did like Tequila much, it makes me want to gag. And I’m not fond of this little show either, for numerous reasons.

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Come Out & Play is on a brief hiatus. Why? Well … the series got bumped by Mia Michaels and the article in Curve.

See … I had this dilemma.

Should I post the article that published in Curve or is that unethical being that I sold the content to them?

I have a guilty conscious, so I don’t think I’ll be posting the content.

However …

Many others have already started posting the content. So, I guess it’s OK for me to direct you to where the article is posted. I think of it as a loophole.

If you don’t belong to MySpace though, you won’t be able to see it. Sorry!

Also, the article that published was altered just a tad and some of the questions and answers were left out – not a lot, but enough for me to notice.

Here’s the bit that was trimmed:

Did you always know that dancing was what you wanted to do with your life?
It’s basically all I knew. I was born into a dance family. My dad was a dance teacher and also the original Marlboro Man –

The cowboy?
Yes, (laughs) the rugged cowboy. He was a model too. I learned a lot from him. As I got older and into challenging myself creatively, I knew that I was moving towards being a choreographer.

You’ve worked with Madonna, Prince and Celine Dion. Is there an artist you would like to work with in the future?
I’d love to work with Bjork. I love artists who aren’t afraid to be different and be who they are. When people ask me, would you ever be interested in working with Britney, I’m like, “no.”

You might want to stay away from that one.
(laughs) I have no desire to work with her at all.

I respect Mia so much for knowing who she is and for sticking to that. A lot of choreographers would work with Brit for the money … and Mia isn’t one to sell out for anybody.

For the rest of the article that didn’t make it into Curve – go here.

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OK. So. Many of you are Mia Michaels fans. I didn’t realize this until after I posted about my interview with her and the upcoming article in Curve.

I apologize for the wait. I may have posted about it too soon, but I was just so damn excited to get to talk with her.

Curve puts together their issues a couple months in advance. For instance, I am currently writing an article about Lauren Collins (of Degrassi fame) but it won’t publish until March 2008. I have my interview with Lauren tomorrow, and I plan on posting the excess material on this blog.

As for Mia – her article will appear in the December issue.

I know. I know. The anticipation is killing all of you. Would it make any difference if I said that it will be well worth the wait?

Update of an Update - the Curve issue for December is out. Get it. Read it. Enjoy!

degrassi, lauren collins, mia michaels, curve, mia michaels curve article

Since it’s Halloween, I decided to post something fun for today. I’m not that into horror flicks myself because I don’t like the feeling of being scared. Who wants to walk out of a movie theater feeling an extreme amount of anxiety, peering around every corner, and jumping at every little noise. Not me. I’d rather see a feel-good flick that makes me feel as though I’m flying high after the move ends, a feeling that I can ride throughout the rest of the day. I’d take that over a scary move any day.

But, in honor of Halloween and because After Ellen beat me to it, I thought I’d do a run down of who I think are the hottest women in horror - gay or straight. So here they are, my favorite “scream queens,” in no particular order.

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I came across this article this morning. While it’s not thought-provoking by any means, it’s one of those fun articles that’s amusing to read. I figure, hey it’s Tuesday. Why throw something heavy on the table at the beginning of the week? Let’s keep it light and fairy, oops, I mean light and airy.

According to the LA Times, these are the best gay pals on television …
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