Lez Keep It Real

I haven’t touched upon the “pregnant man” story as of yet. I think I was still trying to digest what it all really meant or stood for. I’m not really fond of the way it’s paraded through the media, billed as some “Ripley’s Believe It Or Not” phenomena, because it’s far more complex than that.

As you all know, I’m a big proponent of transgendered rights. I don’t know even know how I’d deal with being stuck in the wrong body, the therapy that would require, the time and understanding — everything surrounding the transgender concept. And I thought being gay was hard to come to terms with!!

Anyway, I left the “pregnant man” story alone because I just couldn’t formulate my thoughts about it without going off on a tangent or feeling as though I just didn’t get it.

I will say that I am happy Thomas Lagondino is going to have child. And that is a wonderful thing. But from what I understand about being transgendered, I can’t for the life of me figure out what man is his right mind would want to carry a child? Thomas has maintained that he is a man stuck in a female body. I get that. He did what he needed to do to line up his body with the appropriate gender by taking testosterone and having “top” surgery. If Thomas really felt like man finally, after all of that, then why would he agree to carry a child? Are there different levels of being transgendered? Can you feel as though you are a man and still have certain female inclinations?

My thinking is that most transgendered people want to be known as the gender they have transformed into and not the gender they once were. I know certain individuals who say that they’ve worked so hard to gain their manhood that calling them “she” or “her” or even by their former name is a slap in the face.

If Thomas worked so hard to gain that manhood, why would he volunteer to do something that essentially makes his manhood null and void?

Some argue that gender is state of mind. So it could be said that Thomas is mentally a man but physically still a women. But with all the therapy and struggle it takes to carve out a distinctive male identity, you would think that becoming pregnant would cause certain emotional, mental and, without a doubt, physical strain.

I would like to clarify that I don’t look down on Thomas in any way, shape or form. But I do look at him, scratch my head, and wonder — is this really all for the sake of having a child?

Many men long to be a parent but I can’t name a single one who has the inherent need to carry a child in his belly.

For another point of view, read this column in the Boston Globe. Keep in mind that I don’t share the same views as the writer, but I do respect his opinion. I respect everyone’s opinion. Even yours. So leave me a comment and let me know what you think about the “pregnant man.”

pregnant man, boston globe, transgendered, thomas Lagondino, ripley’s believe it or not

Seriously.

Not everything is a slam at the Christian right for Pete’s sake. I have an idea — let’s ban anything and everything that seemingly has to do with promoting the “gay lifestyle.”

Because really, that’s what it’s all about. Our main goal in life is to shove our homosexual agenda in the face of all religious and conservative groups and individuals in hopes of brainwashing them and forcing them to commit destructive and unholy behaviors.

I don’t know about you but my main goal in life is to be happy and enjoy life. That has nothing at all to do with conservative or the Christian right.

And neither does this:

(Reedsburg, Wisconsin) 365gay.com ~ An elementary-school event in which kids were encouraged to dress as members of the opposite gender drew the ire of a Christian radio group, whose angry broadcast prompted outraged calls to the district office.

Students at Pineview Elementary in Reedsburg had been dressing in costume all last week as part of an annual school tradition called Wacky Week.

On Friday, students were encouraged to dress either as senior citizens or as members of the opposite sex.

A local resident informed the Voice of Christian Youth of America on Friday.

The Milwaukee-based radio network responded by interrupting its morning programming for a special broadcast that aired on nine radio stations throughout Wisconsin.

The broadcast criticized the dress-up day and accused the district of promoting alternative lifestyles.

“We believe it’s the wrong message to send to elementary students,” said Jim Schneider, the network’s program director. “Our station is one that promotes traditional family values.

“It concerns us when a school district strikes at the heart and core of the Biblical values. To promote this to elementary-school students is a great error.” READ MORE

Here’s a little tid-bit of advice for the Christian right … It’s not always about you!

The principal of the school put it best when she said, “our purpose was not to promote cross-dressing, homosexuality or alternative gender roles. Our purpose was to have a Wacky Week, mixing in a bit of silliness with our reading, writing and arithmetic.”

The only thing “wacky” about this situation is the Christian radio show that made such a stink about this in the first place. Kids play dress up all the time. It has nothing to do with cross-dressing. It’s fun to simply pretend to be someone or something else.

If you let a kid dress up in an animal costume, does that mean you are promoting bestiality? See how absolutely ludicrous that sounds?

Let kids be kids for crying out loud. Quit trying to make everything an issue or a crusade. It literally makes me sick.

wacky week, cross-dressing, pineview elementary, voice of christian youth of america

Is it so wrong that a decorated military official who achieved accolade after accolade turned out to be gay?

According to the military it is:

The Washington Blade ~ A Wikipedia article about Maj. Alan Rogers, a gay soldier who was killed in January in Iraq, was apparently edited by someone in the Pentagon, who removed any mention that Rogers was gay.

The user on Monday redacted details about Rogers that appeared on the online encyclopedia site. Information that was deleted included Rogers’ sexual orientation; the soldier’s participation in American Veterans for Equal Rights, a group that works to change military policy toward gays; and the fact that Rogers’ death helped bring the U.S. military’s casualty toll in Iraq to 4,000.

Rob Pilaud, a patent agent and a friend of Rogers who attended the soldier’s funeral, restored the information to the Wikipedia article the next day. Pilaud was among Rogers’ friends who created the Wikipedia page.

The anonymous poster also provided the following comment in the “discussion” section about the article:

“Alan’s life was not about his sexual orientation but rather about the body of work he performed ministering to others and helping the defense of the country,” the poster wrote. “Quit trying to press an agenda that Alan wouldn’t have wanted made public just to suit your own ends.”

The IP address attached to the deletion of the details and the posted comments is 141.116.168.135. The address belongs to a computer from the office of the Army Deputy Chief of Staff for Intelligence (G-2) at the Pentagon. The office is headed by Lt. Gen. John Kimmons, who was present at Rogers’ funeral and presented the flag from Rogers’ coffin to his cousin, Cathy Long.

The Army’s public affairs office did not return a call seeking comment. READ MORE

If you aren’t familiar with Rogers, here’s a brief summary from Wikipedia:

Major Alan Greg Rogers (September 21, 1967 – January 27, 2008) was an ordained pastor, a US Army Major and Intelligence Officer, a civil rights activist in the gay, lesbian and bisexual military community and the first known gay combat fatality of Operation Iraqi Freedom. The subsequent coverage of his death in the media sparked a debate over the effect of the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) policy and what information should be included in the biography of a gay military person killed in action.

Why does it have to be a secret? Like it or not, being gay is part of who Major Alan Glen Rogers was. Keeping that fact hidden is misleading to Americans and disrespectful to him.

What’s the big deal any way? Why would the military go to such great lengths to keep Rogers’ sexuality a secret? I have a guess.

Could it be because if word got out that people in the military can be successful and achieve greatness regardless of his or her sexual orientation, the military would have no ground on which to base their ludicrous theory that homosexuality is a threat to national security?

Could it be that success stories such as these in which a military official is proven to be a tremendous leader amongst his or her peers regardless of his or her sexual orientation may eventually help overturn “Don’t ask, don’t tell?”

I think so.

This kind of thing gets me so heated. When are we going to accept the fact that sexuality has no bearing on the way in which a person pulls a trigger on a machine gun?

The military knows that it doesn’t matter. And the truth is that they don’t care who takes the bullet or who fires the missile. They just don’t want America to become comfortable with gays, because once that happens it will become a non-issue. And stories about war heroes who happen to be gay won’t help their cause in painting homosexuality as debilitating and harmful.

That is why these kind of stories are the ones that need to be heard the most.

the washington blade, major alan glen rogers, don’t ask don’t tell

Sounds like the beginning of a punch line, doesn’t it?

Lesbians and alcohol go together like cookies and milk, peanut butter and jelly, Britney Spears and chaos … you get the picture.

There have been studies about this. And alcohol is very prevalent in the lesbian social scene. Unless you have a handle on it and drink socially (and responsibly), it can easily go from healthy to habitual in no time.

Just ask Jennifer Storm:

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It never really bothered me much when other kids said, “that’s so gay.” It never bothered me because I said it as well. It still doesn’t bother me when I hear it said today.

Maybe because when I was growing up there wasn’t such a stigma to the word “gay.” It was a fun word, light and airy, back then. Now, it’s derogatory and ranks rights up there with the likes of “bitch.”

How did this happen? Well, there’s the evolution of language of course. And BBC News has a few other theories of their own:

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I admit it. I’m not much of a fan of doctors. But I’m lucky I suppose. I’ve had the same doctor since I was nine. He knows me in and out … medically speaking, of course. So when I go in for an appointment, it’s like going to see an old friend. I trust him completely and he is supportive of my girlfriend and I. He’s aware of my sexuality and all the baggage that comes with it.

What more could you ask for in a doctor?

According to PlanetOut.com however, it’s not about what you should ask for, it’s about what you should ask, period.

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News is scarce today ladies, though I did find more than one article concerning the tight race between Obama and Hillary. I’m not in the mood to deal with politics today. I just don’t have the energy for it.

I did, however, stumble upon a well-written column by a senior at Northwestern University. While I was occupied with my own rant about gay marriage and Arizona’s misguided attempt to ban it altogether, Kristin Maun was busy writing this piece on another important issue — health insurance.

Young, Gay and Uninsured

While the hot topic issue in the gay community is marriage, I’m more concerned about health care and partner benefits. In a few months I will graduate college and lose the insurance I have. Neither my college health care plan nor my parents will be able to cover me.

It’s a frightening prospect to be without health care. While I am young and healthy now, I have had several health problems in the past, including a cancer scare that required surgery. I have started to worry about small things that never mattered to me before – what if I’m in a car accident? What if I get sick again? How will I pay my medical bills?

Health insurance is a problem for all young people. The US Census Bureau reported in 2006 that people between the ages of 18 and 24 are the least likely to have insurance. More than 30 percent of young people are without a health care plan.

Along with health care comes my concern for partner benefits. While there are a number of companies that provide benefits for gay partnerships, there is no guarantee. The American Civil Liberties Union reports 233 of Fortune 500 companies provide domestic partner benefits – but that still means more than half don’t.

The partnership benefits provided by companies aren’t absolute. They are not portable and are lost when partners change jobs. The Partners Task Force for Gay and Lesbian Couples also reports, “Partner benefits are subject to federal and state income tax, unlike benefits for married couples.” Domestic partner benefits are also subjected to greater scrutiny than unmarried heterosexual couples – same-sex couples often must sign affidavits that come with additional requirements such as shared financial responsibility.

Even if a company does provide partner benefits, there are no legal protections for me to care for my partner during a medical crisis. Hospitals can deny visitation rights to same-sex partners and refuse to allow partners to make medical decisions.

I remember how terrifying my hospital experience was when I was young and having surgery. Waiting to find out the results of biopsy and suffering through a painful recovery was the one of the most difficult experiences of my life. I was lucky to have a family and group of friends who were by my side through the entire ordeal – I don’t know how I could have gotten through it any other way. If my partner went through such a terrible experience, I would want to be there for them the same way.

I believe in gay marriage and will fight for it every step of the way. But when I think of my greatest political concerns and fears, nothing is more terrifying to me than standing in a hospital hallway unable to help myself or the woman I love. ~ 365gay.com

I’ve said this time and time again, but it’s worth repeating.

We need the rights and benefits we seek to exist and function as every other citizen of this country. It’s not a simple want … it’s a need. There is a distinct difference. Think about it.

365gay.com, northwestern, gay marriage, heath insurance, partner benefits, Kristin Maun

For so many of us (and by us I mean gay people), when we were growing up we thought it was better to hide our sexuality rather than live it. And as adults, we strive each day to undo the damage that was done. We go to therapy, deal with emotional problems, suffer from a lack of confidence – you name it, the issues are endless. Some are worse off than others. They stay stuck in the closet for most of their lives, too afraid of what the consequences might be rather than inspired by what the rewards truly are.

I truly believe that had there been a more comfortable, encouraging atmosphere for us to come out in our adolescence, we wouldn’t be dealing with some of the issues that plague us as adults.

How do I know? Well, over the years, the stats have been calculated. The numbers have been crunched. The results are in. And it’s been proven that it’s healthier for GLBT youth not to hide their sexuality. When they hide it, or hide from it rather, the results are numbing.

GLBT teen suicide is still an ongoing issue in this country, though it isn’t reported on as much as say, when a well-to-do white female goes missing in Aruba. It’s out there. And it needs to be addressed.

How can we help? Simple. Make it comfortable for a teenager to be who they are, gay or straight. Let it be okay. Let them be proud of who they are. Let them voice it in any way possible (with in reason). For instance, don’t make them cover up a T-shirt.

School Apologizes To Lesbian Student Over Censored T-Shirt
by The Associated Press

(Richmond, Virginia) A high school official made a mistake by telling a student to cover up a lesbian-themed T-shirt or face suspension the school’s principal now says.
The admission came Friday; a day after the ACLU demanded the school apologize to the teen.

Bethany Laccone, 17, said she was asked to cloak a logo of two interlocked female symbols while attending a hotel management class this month at I.C. Norcom High School in Portsmouth. She’s a senior at nearby Woodrow Wilson High School, where she has not faced a similar ultimatum.

In a letter sent Thursday, the American Civil Liberties Union of Virginia asked Norcom administrators to remove any mention of the incident from Laccone’s records and agree not to similarly censor other students.

ACLU leaders want administrators to clarify that students can express political views. The school’s dress code prohibits “bawdy, salacious or sexually suggestive messages.”

The ACLU gave the school until Jan. 11 to respond or possibly face further action.

“What’s happening to Bethany Laccone is a clear-cut case of unconstitutional censorship,” said Kent Willis, executive director of the Virginia chapter.

On Friday, Norcom Principal Lynn Briley said the school would comply.

“Yes, we did make a mistake,” Briley told The Virginian-Pilot newspaper of Norfolk. READ MORE

Now, the ACLU can often go overboard. In fact, they practically tip the boat on many of their supposed “causes.” But I have to agree with them on this one. If a straight student wore a shirt of a boy and a girl holding hands, would they be asked to “cover up?” I doubt it. Many people argue that you don’t see straight kids professing their sexuality or wearing T-shirts of straight symbols. Here’s my answer: they don’t have to. We live in a society where straight is the “norm.” Straight is given. Straight is everywhere.

The other day, I can’t remember exactly when it was; I was channel surfing and came across Bill O’Reilly (Let me get to my point before you roll your eyes because I promise when I’m finished you’ll have to pick your eyes up off the floor for rolling them too far). He was showing a yearbook photo of two girls hugging one another. They were chosen by their peers as “cutest couple” for the senior class yearbook awards. Why this aggravated Bill to the point of having to talk about it on the “no spin” zone, I’ll never know. (Aren’t there far more serious issues to discuss … like the war, the national deficit, the 2008 presidential election, lesbian gangs, for instance?)

His basic premises was this: the two girls should keep their sexuality to themselves. It doesn’t need to be displayed in a school yearbook for all to see.

Um. What?!

Okay. First, the two girls were chosen as “cutest couple” by their peers, Bill. Which means, the students don’t care about their sexuality. So why should you? If a straight couple had been chosen as “cutest couple” we wouldn’t even be having this conversation then, would we? It would have been appropriate for a boy and girl to be pictured together. Or would you have told them to keep their sexuality to themselves.? I highly doubt it.

I applaud the students of that high school, who took it upon themselves to say, “sexuality doesn’t matter to us, it’s a non-issue.”
It needs to be a non-issue. It needs to be talked about less on the Bill O’Reilly show.

I wonder if Bill has even looked at any of the statistics involving GLBT teen suicide. He claims to “care” about the welfare of children, doesn’t he? Maybe if he knew that hiding one’s sexuality was more damaging to kids than a high school yearbook photo, he might change his tune. But until then, he’ll keep singing the same old song.

As for the rest of us, we already know better. We know that covering up our sexuality causes more damage than good. We know because we have lived it. And that’s all the reason we need.

bill o’reilly, aclu, bethany laccone, glbt teen suicide

Last Friday I was seething. I had my panties all in a bunch. It started off as a pretty good day, nice and low key. And then I read this.

DAYTONA BEACH — A former Daytona Beach city commissioner and a local high school teacher arrested Thursday during a sex sting at a [SEARS] Volusia mall bathroom were released from the Volusia County Brach Jail today, authorities said.

Former commissioner and mayoral candidate Mike Shallow and David Behringer, an athletic trainer and teacher at Seabreeze High School, posted $1,000 bail today after midnight, a jail spokesman said.

Behringer resigned today, according to officials with the Volusia County School District.

Shallow and Behringer were among nine men charged with lewd and lascivious conduct and exposure of a sexual organ, both misdemeanors, police said. READ MORE

I was so extremely ticked off, for a variety of reasons that I couldn’t even attempt to address the story. So, I let it ride. I sat with it. I let it marinate. And then I saw it again this morning.

So this time, I’m going to say something. I’m going to break down my frustration one point at a time.

Here we go.

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Friday’s Come Out & Play post touched a few people. Here’s one response I received through e-mail:

I just read your article on Coming out later in life. It was in the Come Out and Play section. I am 46 and in the process of coming out. I was married for 18 years and finally accepted the fact that I love women right before I left my husband. Then I said I was bisexual and dated men and women. But recently, I finally accepted the fact that I am lesbian. I have known it since I was in my early teens but there wasn’t a lot of information on it except how wrong it was. I can’t wait to read more about others coming out to inspire my own story.
Thanks! ~ M

It’s nice to know that people are affected by the topics I choose to write about and the points I discuss. Coming Out is such a confusing process - if there were a handbook that could be handed out to everyone embarking on their Coming Out journey it would be extremely beneficial. There’s no right or wrong way to do it. It’s just something every homosexual has to muddle through, no matter who you are. Just ask T.R. Knight …
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Some of you may not know, but I have written an article about Mia Michaels for Curve Magazine. The article will publish sometime soon (still waiting to hear when) so I can’t reveal what she and I spoke about. All I can say is that she’s incredibly candid and a true free spirit.

But … for those of you who don’t want to wait until the Curve article publishes, I have some exciting news! I was restricted with a word limit and since the conversation I had with Mia lasted about 40 minutes, I have some left over material that wasn’t used for the article. So to all you Mia Michaels fans … here you go. This is part of the conversation I had with her.

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I listen to podcasts at work sometimes. A friend of mine told me to listen to one in particular this morning. It was a discussion on NPR about the ethics of outing. Meaning, is it right to out someone for political or personal agendas?

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As most of you know, today is September 11th. I didn’t want to rehash the horror or sadness, but as I made my way into work this morning I couldn’t help but remember. This day, six years ago I was walking to work at Wheelock College (my first “real job” out of school was a web writer for a college in Boston, MA). As soon as I got in, I turned on the radio. The disc jockey was saying something about a plane hitting the World Trade Center. I thought it was a joke until a coworker came in to tell me that I needed to follow her quick. We jogged to the campus center where students, professors and administrative workers alike had gathered to watch the horrific story unfold on a big screen television. It was as if we were watching some morbid movie, only it was real.  The day was so surreal. It made everything else seem so trivial. Even now, when I think about writing day to day on this blog I wonder - does it really matter? Does it really matter if we are black, white, gay or straight? In the end, we are all human beings with lives, loved ones, friends,  hopes, dreams, fears and hearts. And that is what should matter.

Here are a few posts from around the network marking the day …

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In honor of the Notable Lesbians series, I wanted to share this story with you. It’s about an 88-year-old woman who came out of the closet. It’s a story of courage, love and salvation. And it’s exactly what a Notable Lesbian, in my mind, should be.
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Remember the Fagbug? Erin Davies returned from her cross-country adventure with plenty of eye-opening stories and memories. Read about her life-changing experience and what she plans to do now.
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