Lez Keep It Real

Today’s Come Out & Play post spotlights Strangers.

I know what you’re thinking. Why would I walk up to a stranger and say, “I’m gay?”

That’s not the kind of situation I’m talking about. Besides, didn’t you learn that you shouldn’t talk to strangers from all those ABC after school specials we were forced to watch while growing up?

When I say “stranger,” I’m referring to the kinds of people you meet in a social setting, people that you have never met before and who know nothing about you, but with whom you are connected to through one friend, relative, acquaintance or another.

I’ve been in this kind of situation before, too many times to count. And I always find myself wondering the same thing.

Should I “come out” in a sense to these people?

You’re probably wondering why, if these people are strangers, I should feel the need to say anything at all about my sexuality. Well, some of these “strangers” don’t stay “strangers.” Some of them we will see again. Some of them will even become our friends.

So … where is the line then? How do you determine which “stranger” is worth coming out too?

I’m not a rapper by any means, but let me try and “break it down.”

For starters, it’s not like I do this:

“Hi. I’m Scott.”
“Hi Scott. I’m Lyndsey, and I’m gay.”

(Wow. That made me laugh out loud. Literally.)

For me, it comes down to feeling comfortable. I like to get a “read” on the person. I like to “feel” them out so to speak … and I’m not talking physically people. I’m talking about a “vibe.” If I feel relaxed enough around them, and get the “vibe” that they are open-minded and accepting, then I know that if a question arises concerning my sexuality I won’t think twice about clarifying it.

For instance – If I am asked about “my significant other,” I wouldn’t have a problem talking openly about my girlfriend with a “stranger” I felt perfectly comfortable around.

Now, I’ve been in situations where I’ve felt completely uncomfortable as well. And in those situations, I don’t offer up any hints about my sexuality. I even refer to my girlfriend as “my friend.”

The thing is, I can be like an open book if I am in a comfortable space and I don’t have a problem talking about my personal life. But if I’m not comfortable, it’s a different story.

If you are a very private person, you probably don’t find yourself in this situation very often. But if you are like me, then this situation probably arises more often than not.

Basically, “coming out” to strangers all depends on your personal preference. We all know that you never know how someone is going to react. You could assume someone is totally comfortable with homosexuality and then find that they aren’t really “comfortable” at all.

As with “coming out” to anyone in general, I say go with your gut when it comes to “strangers.” But don’t waste your time on someone you know you’re never going to see again.

And furthermore, there are far too many “quotation” marks in this post.

Tune in every Friday for the Come Out & Play series, featuring coming out stories of celebrities, every day people, personal reflections, advice, tid bits and everything else concerning the complicated world of coming out!

Got an interesting coming out story to tell? Contact me and I will feature it in an upcoming post of Come Out & Play.

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