Lez Keep It Real

The Buffalo News, my home town newspaper, likes to present itself as being progressive and somewhat liberal, yet keeps its conservative audience happy by not reporting on gay and lesbian issues. I know because I work there and I’ve written for them before, and have proposed a gay and lesbian column numerous times. I have also pushed to have a gay and lesbian section of the paper or for more gay and lesbian issues to be reported on. Unfortunately, my attempts have fallen on deaf ears.

“We’re just not there yet,” one editor had said, using an all too familiar excuse that I’ve heard uttered numerous times, especially when referring to the country as a whole when speaking about gay marriage.

So, you can imagine my surprise when I sat down for breakfast with my girlfriend and saw this story on the front page of the Sunday edition of The Buffalo News …

Buffalo, NY - Sacrificing for love: Wounded Buffalo officer’s partner
She’s there every day, in the rehabilitation center, at least 15 hours a day.

She feeds her life partner breakfast, lunch and dinner. She helps her get dressed and helps her in and out of bed.

Most nights, she sleeps in a makeshift chair-bed in the room.

Since Buffalo Police Officer Patricia A. Parete was shot in the neck, Maryellen Opalinski has been by her bedside on all but about five of the 257 days.

“As soon as this happened, it was just automatic, like a reflex,” Opalinski said. “I’ve been by her side the whole time. I have never given it a second thought.”

Parete and Opalinski have been together for two years. Six weeks after surviving the shot that severely damaged her spinal cord last Dec. 5, Parete was taken to the Kessler Institute for Rehabilitation in New Jersey.

Opalinski accompanied Parete to the facility. She’s on an extended personal unpaid leave from her nine-year job as a neonatal nurse at Sisters Hospital, which she said has treated her wonderfully.

But as a domestic partner who’s not entitled to a spouse’s benefits, Opalinski now pays about $330 per month for her own health benefits. If they were married, Opalinski would not have to pay any of that.

Opalinski admits she’s not the type of person who wants to stand on a soapbox and preach. She also would prefer to stay out of the public eye. Yet she says she feels she has to stand up for herself, her partner — and others.

“It’s something very tragic,” she said in a 75- minute telephone interview from the rehab center. “Patty and I don’t want to be put into the limelight, but if we can do something to help us and other couples, that’s wonderful.

“It all comes down to living your life with someone you love,” she added. “If a man and a woman can get these benefits, there shouldn’t be any difference for us. READ MORE

Finally. Finally, there is a newsworthy GLBT-related story in the newspaper, and on the front page to boot! I’m not sure why the News suddenly felt “they were ready.” Maybe a story like this pulled at their heart strings, melted the cold editorial exterior and left a lasting impression. The reason doesn’t much matter, what matters is that people who aren’t aware of this kind of situation (which occurs on a regular basis for homosexuals) are now aware. And awareness is the key. Awareness opens eyes. Awareness brings people from “we’re just not there yet,” to “we’re there.”

the buffalo news, patricia a. parete, wounded buffalo police officer, maryellen opalinski