Lez Keep It Real

Last Friday I was seething. I had my panties all in a bunch. It started off as a pretty good day, nice and low key. And then I read this.

DAYTONA BEACH — A former Daytona Beach city commissioner and a local high school teacher arrested Thursday during a sex sting at a [SEARS] Volusia mall bathroom were released from the Volusia County Brach Jail today, authorities said.

Former commissioner and mayoral candidate Mike Shallow and David Behringer, an athletic trainer and teacher at Seabreeze High School, posted $1,000 bail today after midnight, a jail spokesman said.

Behringer resigned today, according to officials with the Volusia County School District.

Shallow and Behringer were among nine men charged with lewd and lascivious conduct and exposure of a sexual organ, both misdemeanors, police said. READ MORE

I was so extremely ticked off, for a variety of reasons that I couldn’t even attempt to address the story. So, I let it ride. I sat with it. I let it marinate. And then I saw it again this morning.

So this time, I’m going to say something. I’m going to break down my frustration one point at a time.

Here we go.

1) This makes US look bad!

When things like this happen, it reflects on the homosexual population as a whole. Just by perusing the comments at the end of the article, you can see the generalization take place. “All homosexuals are promiscuous.” “This is part of the gay lifestyle.” Gay lifestyle? Who coined that phrase? They make it sound like every homosexual walks around looking to jump some unsuspecting individual’s bones. This isn’t the case; in fact it is far from it! What we have here is a group of men who have a certain sexual fetish for getting it on with an anonymous person in a public place. They just so happen to be a group of gay men. And so the association to homosexual promiscuity is made. To these guys I say, find a better outlet for your fetish. Keep it out of the public sphere gentlemen. It’s because of you that we keep taking a step forward and having to take two steps back. To everyone else I say, please don’t lump US in with THEM. Just as there are heterosexual nut cases out there, there are homosexual nut cases as well. Give US the benefit of the doubt.

2) All gay men are NOT pedophiles!

Another thing I read while sifting through the comments, which I might also add were mostly offensive and ignorant, is that these “pedophiles should be locked up.” Um … can someone point me to the spot in the article that said these men were molesting children? Didn’t think so. For those of you who aren’t aware … 90% of child molesters are HETEROSEXUAL MARRIED MEN! I absolutely abhor the fact that people jump right from homosexual to pedophile. They are not linked by any means. Being a gay man doesn’t mean “I want to have sex with children.” Educate yourself before you make such statements. One of the men arrested was a high school teacher and many of his former students commented about how he was a “perv” and that they were glad he didn’t lay a hand on them. Yet, in the entire time he was employed, he had never laid a hand on any student. Ever. Now, I am not defending his actions in the Sears bathroom (it grosses me out to think about it actually), what I am saying is that just because he was sexually promiscuous and a gay man doesn’t mean he was a pedophile. Making that connection is dangerous, as it gives the perception that all gay men are pedophiles. What he did was stupid, offensive, disrespectful to the public and maybe even perverted. But it was not indicative of molestation by any means. All of his partners were of age and consented.

3) What were they actually arrested for?

While each of these men were arrested for giving some of the same signals that got Senator Craig in trouble, not once does the article say they were “caught in the act.” Although it does mention the exposure of a “sexual organ.” As an aside, many people read this article thinking that all of these men had one big orgy with each other at one time, when in fact the sting operation lasted over 8 hours, which means these men were apprehended throughout the course of an entire day.

4) To the men arrested, I say this.

They came in seeking sex, and left in shackles. For that, I am glad. This kind of thing happens (and has been happening for years) far too often. If you really need to satisfy your fetish, don’t do it in a Sears or airport bathroom. I know that it’s part of the “thrill,” but come on guys. Find a secluded location with a vacant building or something if you must. Or, get some counseling to channel that sexual energy better. I don’t know. Just keep it out of our faces, our public bathrooms and our lives. You add a perversion that only contributes to the many stereotypes and false perceptions we try so hard to beat down on a daily basis. Most of us are regular people who stay out of bathrooms and don’t engage in promiscuous and anonymous sex. Keep your issues, YOUR issues and don’t make them ours.

5) To the rest, I say this.

Please don’t lump US in with this LOT. I wouldn’t go around saying that all heterosexuals are murderers, adulterers, rapists or what not. One person or one case does not speak for entire group or population. Have an open mind. Think about what you say before you say it. Make an educated opinion or comment. Comments like, “All homosexuals should be euthanized,” doesn’t speak highly of your intelligence or tolerance. Do you realize what you write? Do you see the hate or even understand the weight of what you are saying. Think about it.

In closing, I would like to point out (if I already didn’t do so or if I didn’t make it clear) that I do not agree AT ALL with what these men did and I fully believe they should be arrested and reprimanded for their actions. I do not sympathize with them nor condone what they did or were about to do.

I think I’ve said it all.

daytona beach, bathroom sting, sears bathroom, senator larry craig, pedophile, anonymous sex