Lez Keep It Real

Remember the “fag bug?” Here’s an update from Erin Davies herself:

Last week while i was out at a bar for 2 hours, someone took a razor blade to my driver’s side window and removed the f, the a, and most of g of “fag” from my car. This ultimately puts me in an awkward position given some of the responses I’ve had. Do I restore it or not? I feel like this person either wanted to stop me from doing my trip or wants to put me in a position to put it back on myself so he can continue to blame me for doing it myself or he is the one who did it to my car to begin with and is so upset that it is getting a positive response rather than the humiliation and guilt he intended on placing upon me by doing this. The more things that unravel with this, the more I believe it to be all three of those. In the end my decision is to restore the word “fag” on my car exactly as it was because that was my choice to keep it there, and it is my decision to make when to remove it, not someone else’s. It’s like this person vandalized my car all over again. In doing this, I have had to continually check in with myself to see how committed I am to what I’m doing, and along the way lots of things have happened that have made me recommit myself where my personal comfort has been pushed or challenged.

A few weeks ago i got a letter left on my car that said “its a shame you made this up” and the person left their number so i called them. they were very upset about it and basically blamed the entire thing on me and accused me over and over of doing this to myself for a publicity stunt and that it would and has never happened in Albany before. since I’ve come out with this happening to me and my car, I’ve received letters from just about every city from people sharing with me that it’s happened to them, including Albany. No one keeps it on and drives it around so the general public don’t get to see or know about it. That’s the only difference.

I’m changing that to show a face for all of those who stayed silent, who didn’t report it, who covered it up. It does happen in every community, all the time, in our words everyday, we live in a hateful world. Somewhere right now someone is learning to be hateful, and the hope in all of this is that I’ve found there to be many more loving creatures than hateful and the support I’ve received from people from all types of backgrounds gives me the courage to not be afraid to keep going with this.

Also, I met a witness a few days ago who saw a person suspiciously close to my car the night it happened, and as the witness drove by the person pulled back something in their hand and put it in a plastic bag and hid it as fast as they could. i have a feeling its the same person who left me the note and is trying to place doubt against me and also called one of the papers who did a feature article and tried to have them run a counter article saying that i made it up…who else would be so bothered by the fact that i am getting positive press out of it? i think its connected and am going to have the witness talk to the investigator and see if he can find out where this guy lives and who he is and see if the witness can match things up with him.

Another discouraging aspect to this is the police, who never saw it as a hate crime from the start. now that the second vandalism happened, the cop refused to take fingerprints of my window, refused to even get out of his car to look at it, refused to go inside to talk to people to see if anyone saw it, and also tried to refuse to put it down as criminal mischief but i convinced him that it’s no ones business to touch my car with a razor blade and I’m making a statement out of what i’m doing and someone is just trying to deter me and stop me and i am not going to let them. it is not their place. its a violation and after my car already having been violated, it’s like experiencing the whole thing over again. its my choice to have a rainbow sticker on my car and i shouldn’t feel afraid for doing so, as it is my choice to keep the slurs on my car to raise awareness, and I shouldn’t feel afraid to do that either. It’s my choice.

By keeping the slurs on my car my chances of finding the person who did it are going up everyday. the more people know, the more they talk, and eventually someone will spill it or come forward with it. the second it gets taken off my chances go out the window. seeing it is that strong that it has made a lot of people in Albany concerned and now I’m not the only one who wants to find out who did it.

But, the more visible i make this, and the longer i do it, the more my car and i are at risk and vulnerable.

Erin Davies will be guest posting every Thursday to let us us know where the “fag bug” is going on its cross-country journey, and what she’s been up to along the way. Keep a look out to see where the “fag bug” has been spotted next!

Erin Davies, fag bug, hate crime, fag bug campaign, activism on wheels