The great bisexual debate
Instead of breaking this down piece by piece, I thought I’d direct you all to an awesome podcast on the L word. Two sarcastic, incredibly charming and opinionated women from New Mexico break down each episode of the L Word once a week on The Planet: A Podcast for L Word Fans.
If you have an Ipod and (unless you live under a rock) visit Itunes on a regular basis, check out this podcast! It’s hilarious and often sparks a heated debate among the hosts and the trillions (it seems) of listeners they have attracted.
You can hear a great discussion on bisexuality between the two hosts, one identifies as a lesbian and the other identifies as a bisexual. Then, visit their blog to read the comments of lesbian, straight and bisexual women alike! Listen to Episode 411: Literary License To Kill. Then stop by their forum to spark a debate of your own!
It’s a brilliant way to hear and read many different side of this debate, far more than one I could give with only my opinion.
What is my opinion, you ask?
Well, when I first came out I identified as bisexual. I think that is the natural progression though. Most people that I speak with often tell me the same, gay or lesbian. It seems easier that way, to say well, “I like girls … but I still like men too.” Then, in most cases, the “but I still like men too” fades away and it eventually becomes, “I like girls.” At least that’s how it seems to happen.
For bisexual, the “but I still like men too,” never fades away. It remains as an imprint of their identity. I never understood why some gays and lesbians have a problem with this. To me I understand the fact that it’s the person more than anything. The physical parts don’t dictate who they fall in love with. And just as much as straight man can’t fight his attraction to a woman or a gay man can’t fight his attraction to a man, bisexuals can’t fight their attraction to men or women. Why should they have too? Who said you had to choose one or the other?
I understand the fact that there are some people out there who claim to be bisexual but are merely experimenting. I know first hand because I’ve been the “science experiment” on more than one occasion. I think it’s those people who give bisexuals a bad rap.
The bottom line is that we, as gay and lesbian people, already experience enough discrimination. There is no need to do it our own community by decreeing that bisexuals are “really” gay or that they aren’t gay enough.
I say that we all have a right to love who we love, with out reason or explanation. And since that’s what I wholeheartedly believe, I can’t possibly see being bisexual as being anything but acceptable.
I’m a lesbian remember … who am I to judge.
bisexual, lesbian, gay, podcast, itunes, ipod, the L word,
April 9th, 2007 at 7:52 am
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April 9th, 2007 at 1:17 pm
Interesting article. I know a lot of gay people use the term bisexual as a sort of stepping stone when they first come out. I know I wasn’t ready to fully admit I was a lesbian back in undergrad school. At the time it seemed like a lot of girls were claiming to be bisexual but were really just experiementing. A few times I fell for these girls only to have them go back to me. So for awhile I was very wary of bisexuals. However now I know many people who really are true bisexuals and I don’t have a problem with them at all.
So yeah, to answer one of your questions, I believe some of the prejudice may come from earlier heart-break and confusion.
April 10th, 2007 at 12:04 am
This is such a complicated issue. I believe that men and women experience sexual attraction in different ways. I often wonder how that applies to bisexuality. I’m a gay man and I’ve never been attracted to women (and never claimed to be). Anyway, great post and thanks for asking thought provoking questions.
April 10th, 2007 at 7:21 am
The prejudice against people who identify as bisexual concerns me a lot. Thanks for speaking out positively on this issue.
April 10th, 2007 at 5:14 pm
It seems that bisexuality is the new gay that is struggling to gain acceptance and understanding. Great article here and I agree that the Elka and KC’s podcast is definitely worth listening to. I think that vis a vis being straight or gay, it’s truly difficult to be open about being bisexual because it’s just a concept that is difficult for people to grasp, and to accept. Not to mention the fact that most people cannot accept things that they cannot understand.
April 23rd, 2007 at 4:12 pm
It really can be that simple: We’re attracted to both men and women. Whoever said it had to be just one of them? Being bisexual myself, I just see sexually attractive qualities in both men and women. I’m glad to see a supportive opinion about it, instead of someone trying to say “it’s not a real preference”. That’s like someone telling you that you can’t like broccoli and carrots at the same time.
May 24th, 2007 at 8:38 am
[...] William ‘Pa’ Rainey in 1904, it was widely known, though less discussed, that she was bisexual. Interesting tid bit: Rainey signed with Paramount Records and, between 1923 and 1928, she recorded [...]
July 17th, 2007 at 11:14 am
[...] and cast into a pit of worthless heterosexuality or even the dreaded bisexuality (we’re so mean to the bi folks. Poor kiddies). Nuh-uh. Screw that. You have worth far beyond the label of your sexuality, and what [...]
September 20th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
I feel about the same for men as I do for women. That, to me, is a definition of Bi. I have a simple philosophy: You let me be me, and I’ll let you be you. I do the things, wear the things, say the things, and live the way I want to. The pastor of the GLBT church I go to once called me a “Lesbo.” I wasn’t offended, but I did correct him. I want that self-description to be respected; it’s one of the few ways that people will learn that not all bisexuals are transitioning from straight to gay.
October 2nd, 2007 at 11:18 pm
Another thing I hate is when you’re bisexual with a member of the opposite sex… And someone alludes to your being straight. If you say, “I’m not straight, I’m bisexual.” They’ll seem to roll their eyes as if to say “Oh well that doesn’t matter because you’re in a hetero relationship.” That bugs me. So much. It’s what keeps me from telling people I meet…
December 9th, 2007 at 8:16 pm
I agree. People should just forget labels and genders and love whomever they choose. You were right though about how the “I like girls and men too” never goes away. I’m bi but could never pick just 1 gender. As long as you love someone, what does gender matter~