The many colors of the lesbian rainbow
Let’s face it. Lesbians come in all sorts of colors – from femme to butch to everything else in between. However, I wasn’t aware of this kind of categorization when I first came out, until a friend of mine teased me about being attracted to “femmes”. OK, I thought, whatever that means. Since then I’ve heard about a billion and one different names to describe this or that type of lesbian. So I did a little digging to see what the most common categories were. I talked with friends, looked on the Internet and consulted some magazines.
Here is what I came up with. (Some of which flat out made me laugh!)
Stone Butch
A female-bodied person who is strongly masculine in character and dress, who tops their partners sexually (and sometimes emotionally), and who does not wish to be touched genitally.Not all stone butches identify in female terms, some are known to identify with male pronouns, and many stone butches - not all, but many - do not identify themselves with lesbian or within the lesbian community.
Butch
Similar to a Stone Butch, but toned down a peg. Generally wears her hair very short, can be fairly box’ish in build and/or muscular. She would never be seen in make-up or dresses, but can get away with it if necessary.Boi
Boi is a deliberately altered spelling of boy that has become recently fashionable, and is sometimes used as a synonym for male when referring to young adults.
Also commonly used by those who are female to male transgendered.Tomboy
Otherwise know as the “soft butch.” Usually athletic and can fluctuate between boyish and girlish styles fairly easily. This, in a nutshell, is me.Sporty Femme
Into athletics (obviously) and isn’t afraid to sweat. Gets dolled up once the game is over and let’s her hair down. Isn’t afraid to show off her “girly” side.Femme
Usually very feminine, very comfortable in dresses, make-up and styled hair. Most femmes are mistaken for heterosexual women.Lipstick Lesbian
Wears make-up and dresses in a very feminine manner. Some believe that the lipstick lesbian is experimenting sexually and will soon return to the safety of a heterosexual life.Business Lesbian
I’m guessing she’s a Lipstick Lesbian in a business suit, probably very career oriented and into climbing the corporate ladder.Political Lesbian (i.e. Manhater?)
Rejects the patriarchal society and surrounds herself with womyn only. Pretty much wants nothing to do with men in general.Wannabe Lesbian
Most often found in colleges, dates men and has physical relationships with her roommates or friends. When one of her roommates/friends falls in love with her, she will declare she is not a lesbian, cause well – she’s not really gay.Crunchy-Granola
Pretty much a Tomboy who loves nature and is into camping, hiking, PETA, environmental causes and of course, Birkenstocks.
Some of these so-called (stereo?) types are a little ridiculous. But unfortunately they exist. In fact, the above list is just icing on the cake. Apparently, there are many more sub-categories that I haven’t even touched on. But I don’t think I’ll go there. I’m still amused by what I’ve found so far.
When I was out with a group of friends not to long ago, we took turns deciding what type of lesbian we thought we might be. Funny thing is, we all came up with the same conclusion.
Why do we need to label ourselves?
It’s quite obvious that everyone else does that for us.
lesbian rainbow, femme, butch, stone butch, boi, tomboy, lipstick lesbian, crunchy granola, glbt labels, sporty femme, rainbow colors, glbt stereotypes
June 4th, 2007 at 11:30 am
I keep hearing this question: Why do we need to label ourselves?
Human beings like to categorize. It’s partly our way of making sense of the world. So, the real question becomes, how useful are these categories and what is our reaction if something or someone defies categorization?
Personally, I think the labels we give ourselves as lesbans are useful to an extent (It’s a whole other issue how others outside the community label us). But human beings are complex and category boundaries can be crossed and re-crossed. That is when it gets interesting.
Just for fun, I took one of those online quizzes, and I turned out “soft butch” or “tomboy.” Nothing I didn’t already know!
June 4th, 2007 at 11:31 am
P.S.: You forgot baby dyke, hah!
June 5th, 2007 at 1:15 am
Labeling isn’t always bad–it does give you a sense of community when you can identify with a group of people. It only gets bad when you (or those around you)think that you HAVE to have all of the characteristics of people in a certain group (good and bad). No one fits the mold completely!
June 5th, 2007 at 10:28 am
That was a really fun read. Love your blog and added you to our blogroll!
June 5th, 2007 at 10:34 am
Thanks Jody!
June 11th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
Fun for sure! When I told my roommate that my new BFF is gay (as in so you have no chance stop dreaming, not as a FYI broadcast) he actually said “really? but she’s too pretty to be gay.” BFF and I have yet to stop laughing at that backwards compliment.
June 12th, 2007 at 8:14 am
[…] a tomboy, always a tomboy June 12th, 2007 by Lyndsey Darcangelo I’ve been a tomboy for as long as I can remember. I liked to play in the mud, tossed around the football with my […]
June 12th, 2007 at 11:45 am
Well, well, well… I know how much our society loves to fit people into categories or label us so that we fit into something they can recognize. When I was much younger, and there weren’t as many labels, I was called a lipstick lesbian. I do not wear dresses but I do wear make up. I am feminine in many ways but can also be a dyke if the mood strikes me. I used to be called a pdwitch (punk, dyke, witch)by my friends who couldn’t seem to fit me into any particular category either. I don’t feel the need to be labeled, I am a person, a lesbian, a mother, a grandmother and a widow. I have lived through much hatred for our kind and now I am just proud to be who I am and I make no adjustments for anyone.
June 12th, 2007 at 1:59 pm
Too, too fun for sure! Lends me to having to share that when my roommate found out that my BFF was gay he said “but she’s too pretty to be gay.” BFF and I are still enjoying a good laugh from this backhanded compliment.