Lez Keep It Real

Last night I was basically surfing the Internet in a poor attempt at procrastination. I’m a horrible procrastinator because I immediately feel guilty for not doing what I’m supposed to be doing, succumb to the guilt and end up doing what I’m supposed to be doing anyway. Did you get all of that?

Onto the point of this post. I happened upon one of those Yahoo Answers to a question that I’m sure has plagued lesbians since the beginning of time.

The question: Why do straight men find lesbians attractive?

The so-called “best” answer: I find attractive lesbians attractive because of appearance. But in personal dealings, when it’s clear my interest is not reciprocated or especially welcomed, the attraction quickly fades. Read More

Why this answer was considered the “best,” I have no idea. I, do however, consider it to be uncannily similar to what most straight men would say when asked this very same question.

Straight men consider lesbians to be hot as long as the fantasy of being involved in their sexual exploits is alive and well. Once the fantasy is dead in the water, so is the attraction.

Being sexually involved with two women at the same time can do wonders for a straight man’s ego. Think about it … not only one, but two women want him? And at the very same time. Talk about rising to the occasion. You bet any straight man, when presented with the opportunity, would gladly oblige. Of course, flip the script and take him out of the equation and he suddenly feels left out, defeated … maybe less of man even.

You might wonder how I could make such generalizations. I guess because I have seen it happen numerous times myself. I’ve been out at straight clubs with a beautiful women who often draw numerous glances in their direction from big, buff and sexually charged I’ve-got-something-special-for-you wielding men. When these women didn’t exchange looks or reciprocate in anyway, they often reacted by making some far less than intelligent or derogatory retort. Then, they’d cast their disbelieving eyes at me because I was the one that was buying the women drinks, having them whispering in my ear, flirting and of course, dancing with them.

How could this be? The straight men wonder. How could these women rather be with her than me?

Enter a little term I like to call Venus envy.

Basically, I have something these men could never ever possess. A woman’s touch. The simple reason as to why true lesbians don’t want anything sexually to do with a straight man is basically because a straight man isn’t a woman. That’s all there is to it.

Here’s another example. Recently on Work Out, the wonderful reality show on Bravo featuring uberly fit power lesbian, Jackie Warner, I saw a similar situation unfold. Jackie is hooking up with one of her trainers, Rebecca, who I think it basically experimenting, but that’s beside the point. While out one evening as a group, some of the trainers are put off by Jackie and Rebecca’s flirting. One of the straight male trainers, Dre’, explains later on in the episode why he was so bothered by the two of them together. In so many words, he says, “When there’s two gorgeous women together getting it on and I’m not a part of it, yeah it pisses me off.” He felt angry because he was being left out. I ask you this, who invited him in the first place?

I know that Dre’ isn’t the only straight male out there who feels this way.

For all you guys out there, I’m sorry … but I’ve got to give it to you straight (pun fully intended.) There’s nothing you can do about it. You can’t work out more, tidy up your appearance, walk with a swagger, and flash wads of cash or brag about how good you are in bed. It doesn’t matter. When lesbians are out in a club, they are there to have a good time and not because they are out looking for a third party. I apologize for the many women who lure you into this fantasy by masquerading as lesbians out for good time. I also apologize for the billions of porno flicks who paint an all to common picture that any man, even a refrigerator repairman, can walk in on two lesbians having sex and suddenly be invited to join in. The truth is – it doesn’t happen as often as you think. So, don’t be so shocked next time you see two girls dancing on the floor a little too close for comfort when you give them the “come here eyes,” and they don’t respond. I’m not trying to burst your bubble, I’m just give you a healthy dose of reality.

Back to the question posed above: Why do straight men find lesbians attractive?

The true answer: They don’t really. They find the idea of lesbians attractive. Take straight guy out, put him in the middle of a lesbian club full of femmes, butches, dykes, bois, granola crunchers and everything else in between and you’ll see him turn and run faster than a lesbian chasing a U-haul truck down the street.

It’s true … I’ve seen it happen.

If you’re a straight man, I’d love to hear your input on this. Feel free to comment below.

For more on Work Out, check out 451’s blog for Reality on Bravo.

gay, lesbian, straight, work out, venus, envy, yahoo answers