Lez Keep It Real

Hi ya’ll! My name’s Lessa, and usually I’m off rambling about Reality TV (Survivor and Big Brother) and Rachael Ray, instead of tackling important issues like you are used too over here. However, Lyndsey ran off for the week and left the keys of the kingdom in my greedily clutching grabbing little fingers. HAHAHAHAH! Clearly, she needed that vacation REALLY, REALLY BAD, because everyone knows letting me cavort about in public is dangerous enough - now I get to sully her blog with my ramblings? AWESOME.

I suppose I should start by saying I don’t really pay much attention to all the Big Important Issues. I’m not one who dabbles in politics or anything else - except for reading here and over at Darkside Rainbow, which I suppose is at least being involved in a teeny tiny part. I do identify as being bisexual to those that such labels matter to, and often call myself an ‘equal opportunity offender”. I was married to a man who I loved dearly, and who also drove me nuts, for 15 years, and was fortunate enough that he loved my orientation. After all, all his friend’s wives got mad when they looked at other girls - I usually pointed them out to him, first!

I also live in a town that is severely closeted, with churches on every corner. I’ve never been one to be open about my orientation, because it’s really no one’s business but mine, and those I determine need to know. I never deny it, of course - my rule is if you care enough to ask a question straight up, you deserve a straight answer (…so to speak. HAHHAHA). If you beat around the bush, I’m just as likely to lie my ass off. (Mom and Dad have learned not to ask questions straight out unless they REALLY WANT TO KNOW… Hah!) That’s why I was surprised to find out why one of my daughter’s friends is no longer allowed at my house - because I’m bi.

As far as I know, I have never had a personal conversation with this particular mother - so I’m not too sure where she came up with her information. She’s one of those people who are incredibly fake, back-stabby, and vicious in her quest for perfection. She’s that cheerleader everyone hates, that popular girl that people are just as fake too, in order to become part of the group, she’s THAT GIRL. We all know them, they’re everywhere. She’s no different, and now she has a daughter who at 13, is exploring her thoughts and feelings on sexuality - and in doing so, has strong lesbian tendencies. She is still young, and has a lot of soul searching yet to do, and that’s why I say tendencies - no other reason.

Her mother is, of course, terrified of this. She no longer sleeps with her husband, but instead sleeps in her daughter’s room, because she is certain she’s calling girls late at night, and maybe even sneaking out! (Should be noted they live miles and miles and MILES away from anyone - and the daughter is too young to drive!) The one time M, the daughter, was allowed to come to my house for a slumber party, her mother drove into town every hour on the hour to see that M and T weren’t doing anything they weren’t supposed too. Because apparently, my being bisexual meant that I was allowing 13 year old girls go WYLD in my house. (dry look) She even pulled M out of school for a while because she didn’t want her tainted by the system that is supposedly encouraging such disgusting behaviors like hugs, and talking, and giggling with girlfriends. In other words, she’s cause M to miss out on some of the best parts of bonding with her peers in a very normal 13-year-old way.

It saddens me, and angers me, especially because this group of girls is one I’m PROUD to have my daughter part of. They are respectful, they are fun, they are kind, and they genuinely enjoy each other’s company. The group is up to 8 or 9 now, with 6 core girls being the tightest knit and they are extremely supportive to one another. They accept new girls, and make friends easily, and they’re just some of the nicest young ladies I’ve ever had the chance to know.

I’ve had the opportunity to talk to many of them about the deal with M and her mother, T and their sexuality, and how they look at the whole GLBT scene as a whole. I have never been so proud of anything as I was when they all - my daughter included - boiled it down to this: “It’s about loving a person, not a gender. Who cares? They’re our friends, and that’s what matters.”

Would that M’s mother understood that simple, beautiful fact. For every bad story I hear about Jr. High Girls, I’m proud to be able to hold up my daughter and her friends as examples of how it SHOULD be.

(PS. No, none of those pictured are my daughter or her friends. Thanks for letting me play in your sandbox, Lyndsey! ~Lessa)